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The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. although some of these chanes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v.10

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. although some of these chanes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v. 10
These days internet becomes and important part of our lives. Finally the whole world is united into one network, which made communication between nations much easier. Inventing the internet brings many changes into all parts of our lives, although some of them are useful and also some of them are destroying our society. Entering digital era length was decreased in some way, all those our lovely persons with cyberspace are not far away in some way. People are able to speak with each other in many different ways, using their laptops or mobile phones. Also, they can choose a way of communication, using just an audio call or video. Using the www is not just for gossips, people can access to any web shop all across the earth and can buy anything. Educations was also changed using the internet, students are able to get a lot of content or books for free. However, each thing has good and bad side. Internet helps people to get better and quicker communication, but after some years it becomes annoying for some people. Social networks are full of negative content which also gives a negative impact on peoples mind. Children are spending a lot of time playing games or chatting with their friends instead of going out and spending the day on fresh air. Although, you can find many useful things on the internet, there are also those bad, negative stuff, where are served at the same place, and usually people are using more bad content than good. Although, the space is a good tool for sharing news, but people are usually using it to share negative or fake news. Digital era makes many things easier and better, but at the end it gives more negative impacts on society than positive. People are closing themselves at home and they are not interested in hanging out with their friends.
These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
internet becomes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
the whole world
is united
into one network, which made communication between nations much easier. Inventing the internet brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
into all parts of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are useful and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are destroying our society.

Entering digital era length
was decreased
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way, all
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "our lovely" or "those lovely"?
those our lovely
persons with cyberspace are not far away in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are able to speak with each other in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways, using their laptops or mobile phones.
Also
, they can choose a way of communication, using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an audio call or video. Using the
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for gossips,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access to any web shop all across the earth and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything. Educations
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
was
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
using the internet, students are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
content or books for free.

However
, each thing has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
side. Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better and quicker communication,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years it becomes annoying for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Social networks are full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
content which
also
gives a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
mind. Children are spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time playing games or chatting with their friends
instead
of going out and spending the day on fresh air. Although, you can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful things on the internet, there are
also
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
stuff, where
are served
at the same place, and
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
content than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Although, the space is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
tool for sharing news,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
using it to share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
or fake news.

Digital era
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things easier and better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it gives more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts on society than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are closing themselves at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home and
they are not interested in hanging out with their friends.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. although some of these chanes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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