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In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v.1

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v. 1
It is a common view that villagers seemed to be more friendly and neighborly than their counterparts who lived in big, modern cities in the old days. While I recognize some potential drawbacks of country life, my belief is that there were more merits. In my opinion, people living in small villages had to face a range of negative factors that might urge them to migrate to bigger cities. Those factors range from limited industry and lack of job opportunities to less access to qualified education. For example, a person had to travel hundreds of kilometers to get to college on the grounds of the absence of such schools in his neighborhood. Consequently, there have been many large migrations from rural to urban areas over the past half century. From the recreational perspective, countryside residents also seemed not to have enough entertaining choices to enjoy the artistic and cultural life with very few museums or theaters in town, which in turn caused a great sense of boredom and tediousness. Despite those negatives mentioned above, I believe that small towns could offer various benefits to our past generations. Foremost among these was perhaps living space in rural areas which apparently were much slower and more relaxed than that of urban areas. For instance, people always spared their precious time to chat and share life stories with each other on their way to work or simply heading to a local market. As a result, country-dwellers were often regarded as friendly inhabitants who would be willing to give a helping hand to others without hesitation. Another robust reason of living in a small community was the element of less traffic on the road, which allowed drivers to commute more comfortable and less stressful. Again, we can see that this would greatly help to create a friendly and welcoming living space for many people of older generations. In conclusion, it seems to me that the disadvantages of living in the countryside by no means outweigh its advantages when we take living pace and traffic congestion into consideration
It is a common view that villagers seemed to be more friendly and
neighborly
than their counterparts who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
, modern cities in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days. While I recognize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential drawbacks of country life, my belief is that there were more merits.

In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
villages had to face a range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
factors that might urge them to migrate to bigger cities. Those factors range from limited industry and lack of job opportunities to less access to qualified education.
For example
, a person had to travel hundreds of kilometers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to college on the grounds of the absence of such schools in his neighborhood.
Consequently
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
large migrations from rural to urban areas over the past half century. From the recreational perspective, countryside residents
also
seemed not to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
entertaining choices to enjoy the artistic and cultural life with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few museums or theaters in town, which in turn caused a great sense of boredom and tediousness.

Despite those negatives mentioned above, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns could offer various benefits to our past generations. Foremost among these was perhaps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
space in rural areas which
apparently
were much slower and more relaxed than that of urban areas.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always spared their precious time to chat and share life stories with each other on their way to work or
simply
heading to a local market.
As a result
, country-dwellers were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
regarded as friendly inhabitants who would be willing to give a helping hand to others without hesitation. Another robust reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
community was the element of less traffic on the road, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
drivers to commute more comfortable and less stressful. Again, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that this would
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to create a friendly and welcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
space for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of older generations.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the countryside by no means outweigh its advantages when we take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
pace and traffic congestion into consideration
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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