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In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However, nowadays this information can be found through the internet and, therefore there is no need for museums. Do you agree or disagree with this view? v.6

In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However, nowadays this information can be found through the internet and, therefore there is no need for museums. with this view? v. 6
A few years ago, museums were considered to be the complete source of information about culture and history. But, with the advent of the internet, it has become very easy for the people to get information online. Thus, some people think that museums are no more needed, nowadays. I, however, do not agree with this point of view and following are the reasons to believe so. Firstly, the details shared on different websites, regarding culture and history, have a questionable credibility. For example, there are certain web pages that do not have the proper and exact details about certain historical events, especially the blogs written by the common people, who have no thorough knowledge about the incidents. This could often be misleading for the users. But, the museums on the other hand, have guides for their visitors who explain each and everything to them very clearly and that too, from reliable sources. Secondly, the museums provide every sort of knowledge to the interested people, under one roof. For instance, the Lok Virsa Museum in Islamabad, not only portrays the various cultures of Pakistan, but the civilizations from other parts of the world, particularly the neighbouring countries, as well. Additionally, it displays the historical timeline of the Indian Subcontinent too. All of this information could be easily accessed during a single tour of the whole museum. However, in order to search the details about this stuff using the internet, one has to surf through a large number of websites and links, which consumes a lot of time. To conclude, although, the online availability of articles related to history and traditions is quite common these days, this cannot replace the museums. This is because, the source of that information is not always reliable. Moreover, the museums provide a detailed knowledge to the people simply during one visit.
A few years ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
were considered
to be the complete source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about culture and history.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, with the advent of the internet, it has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
online.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are no more needed, nowadays. I,
however
, do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view and following are the reasons to believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
shared on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
websites, regarding culture and history, have a questionable credibility.
For example
, there are certain web pages that do not have the proper and exact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about certain historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
especially
the blogs written by the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who have no thorough knowledge about the incidents. This could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
be misleading for the users.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
on the other hand
, have guides for their visitors who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
each and everything to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clearly
and that too, from reliable sources.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
provide every sort of knowledge to the interested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, under one roof.
For instance
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lok
Possible spelling mistake found.
Virsa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
in Islamabad, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
portrays the various cultures of Pakistan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the civilizations from other parts of the world,
particularly
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
countries,
as well
.
Additionally
, it displays the historical timeline of the Indian Subcontinent too. All of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
could be
easily
accessed during a single tour of the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
However
, in order to search the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about this stuff using the internet, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
surf through
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
websites and links, which consumes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.

To conclude
, although, the online availability of articles related to history and traditions is quite common these days, this cannot replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the source of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is not always reliable.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
provide
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "detailed knowledge".
a detailed knowledge
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
simply
during one visit.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However, nowadays this information can be found through the internet and, therefore there is no need for museums. with this view? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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