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In the past, most people spend their entire career working for one company, whereas people nowadays move from one job to another. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which do you think is better? Give reasons for your answer and include any r v.1

In the past, most people spend their entire career working for one company, whereas people nowadays move from one job to another. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which do you think is better? 1
Some people believe that sport plays an important role for teens in school life. On the other hand, some people think that it is not necessary for them. Do you think sport is significant? For me, I think it should be a personal opinion to choose whether we want. Nowadays, people who success in their lives shows that there are many ways to be in the zenith of success by your own ability means you can choose to do things that you good at. If we are not good at any sports, it will not be beneficial to us except for any exercises that might help us to be a bit more healthy and some basic learning about sports. We can also use that time to improve the skills that we are good at. For instance, people who do well in the academic part can spend that time on their reading and gain knowledge as much as they can. Moreover, the education system takes freedom of choosing what they want to learn also a chance to improve themselves in the way they decide. The teacher trying to teach every student the same way but did not care if it is suitable for them or not. For example, there are fishes and birds in the classroom. Fishes absolutely good at swim, but the teachers teach them to fly, which is well in birds but what for fishes? Can they fly? It is the same as sport. I think it should be kids who decide what they enjoy and good at. In contrast, it can help athletes improve their skills and gain more experiences, but, it might be too much time that they spend on sport while the academic part also essential for their higher education. I think if we focus on permanent financial status in the future, we should take serious on it. To conclude, the teacher can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink. In the same way, children have the opportunity to think what they want to choose and what they can do well. In my point of view, it is children's rights to choose the best choice for themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for teens in school life.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that it is not necessary for them. Do you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is significant? For me, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it should be a personal opinion to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
whether we want.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who success in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to be in the zenith of success by your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ability means you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to do things that
Did you mean "you are"?
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at. If we are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, it will not be beneficial to us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
any exercises that might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to be a bit more healthy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. We can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do well in the academic part can spend that time on their reading and gain knowledge as much as they can.

Moreover
, the education system takes freedom of choosing what they want to learn
also
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves in the way they decide. The teacher trying to teach every student the same way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
did not care if it is suitable for them or not.
For example
, there are fishes and birds in the classroom. Fishes
absolutely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at swim,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the teachers teach them to
fly
, which is well in birds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what for fishes? Can they
fly
? It is the same as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it should be kids who decide what they enjoy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at.

In contrast
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and gain more experiences,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it might be too much time that they spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
while the academic part
also
essential for their higher education. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
if we focus on permanent financial status in the future, we should take serious on it.

To conclude
, the teacher can lead a horse to water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it drink.
In the same way
, children have the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
what they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
and what they can do well. In my point of view, it is children's rights to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the best choice for themselves.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay In the past, most people spend their entire career working for one company, whereas people nowadays move from one job to another. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which do you think is better? 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
364 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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