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In the past, most people spend their entire career working for one company, whereas people nowadays move from one job to another. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which do you think is better? v.2

In the past, most people spend their entire career working for one company, whereas people nowadays move from one job to another. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which do you think is better? v. 2
In the past people used to work in the one company because it encourages and had profit for retirement; however, a society, presently, lived in turbulent times where every year something changes, as a result people many times change a workplace because of the reduction or other reasons. Nevertheless, both of this phenomenon have not only the positive impact such as predictable the future, refresh environment and new opportunity, but also drawbacks because people live in uncertain conditions and occasionally force to choose a position lower than previous. Consequently, I think, as current labourer, better labour with the same firm because stability today is essentially important. Firstly, few people can decline the fact that in the past people who worked in the same place had a professional growth more often than now, and more predictable the future that had a positive impact on their health. For example, in the Soviet Union was encouraged the one workplace by better the retirement, the wage and the growth in the worker specialisation area. Besides, companies receive profit too, because had a labourer who deeply knew their responsibility from the perspective of the company specific. Nonetheless, today, people who change work receive a profit on new collectives because it leads to refresh surroundings and broaden knowledge. Notwithstanding, employment in the same place in the past similarly with the current time has negative side such as the routine and a worker should labour in any conditions, even in the worst, that is especially relevant today. For example, the director of the firm could decline the wage or increased the load without influence on the salary. Moreover, an employee who do the same every single day eventually feel boring that leads to mistakes and a less interest in the job. However, a change of working place always unpredictable because people go to a new area where necessarily learn new rules, and occasionally because of cannot find the same place of work push to lower position, and at the same time companies receive new specialist that can be inept in the company work area. To conclude, I believe each person independently should decide how they work, nevertheless, with good conditions of the work, from my perspective, better labour on the same firm.
In the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it encourages and had profit for retirement;
however
, a society,
presently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in turbulent
It is better to use 'times' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "times when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
times where
every year something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
,
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
a workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reduction or other reasons.
Nevertheless
, both of this phenomenon have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact such as predictable the future, refresh environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
opportunity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in uncertain conditions and
occasionally
force to choose a position lower than previous.
Consequently
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourer
, better
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
with the same firm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
stability
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is
essentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Firstly
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can decline the fact that in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
worked in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
had a professional growth more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and more predictable the future that had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their health.
For example
, in the Soviet Union
was encouraged
the one workplace by better the retirement, the wage and the growth in the worker
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialisation' is British English.
specialisation
area.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
receive profit too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
had a
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
deeply
knew their responsibility from the perspective of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
specific. Nonetheless,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
receive a profit on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
collectives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it leads to refresh surroundings and broaden knowledge.

Notwithstanding, employment in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in the past
similarly
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side such as the routine and a worker should
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
in any conditions, even in the worst,
that is
especially
relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For example
, the director of the firm could decline the wage or increased the load without influence on the salary.
Moreover
, an employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do the same every single day
eventually
feel boring that leads to mistakes and a less interest in the job.
However
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
always unpredictable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
area where
necessarily
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, and
occasionally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of cannot find the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
push to lower position, and at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
specialist that can be inept in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
area.

To conclude
, I believe each person
independently
should decide how they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
nevertheless
, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conditions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, from my perspective, better
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
on the same firm.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In the past, most people spend their entire career working for one company, whereas people nowadays move from one job to another. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which do you think is better? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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