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In the modern world it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience. v.2

In the modern world it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. v. 2
Recently, the educational standards declined; especially in the areas of literacy and numeracy, the main reason for the sudden fall in the schooling standards is due to steady growth in the technology. Now a day the students does not learn anything themselves, they depend on modern system for the fastest solution. For instance, in the old days we used to calculate maths ourselves, we used to solve the problems such as addition, subtraction, multiplication by ourselves, nowadays the situation has been changed and the students are accessible to calculators or other modern ideas which gives them the answer swiftly. In the old days most of the students learned multiplication very seriously and most of them were acquainted with maths. Another major concern is in the spelling of the vocabulary in the old days the most of the students were very good at the spelling and nowadays they use advanced machines, as a result the educational standards has been drastically declining in the current era. The only solution to this major problem is to limit the availability of the modern technology to the students below particular age and to put up more focus on the students from the parents and teacher’s side. Another major reason is that in the old days the teachers were able to punish the students; if the students were not studying well and nowadays the teachers cannot punish or even scold due to the new legal policies and as a result the students does not learn anything themselves. In conclusion, in this current era its proven that the educational standards has been marginally declined and the only way is to limit the availability of the modern technology to students.
Recently, the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
declined;
especially
in the areas of literacy and numeracy, the main reason for the sudden fall in the schooling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
is due to steady growth in the technology.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
does not learn anything themselves, they depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
system for the fastest solution.
For instance
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
days we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to calculate
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
ourselves, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve the problems such as addition, subtraction, multiplication by ourselves, nowadays the situation has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are accessible to calculators or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which gives them the answer
swiftly
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
days most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learned multiplication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
seriously
and most of them
were acquainted
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
. Another major concern is in the spelling of the vocabulary in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
days the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at the spelling and nowadays they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
advanced machines,
as a result
the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
has been
drastically
declining in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to this major problem is to limit the availability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technology to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
below particular age and to put up more focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from the parents and teacher’s side.

Another major reason is that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
days the teachers were able to punish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
; if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were not studying well and nowadays the teachers cannot punish or even scold due to the new legal policies and
as a result
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
does not learn anything themselves.

In conclusion
, in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era its proven that the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
has been
marginally
declined and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way is to limit the availability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technology to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In the modern world it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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