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In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet without face-to-face contact with others. To what extent is this a positive or negative development? v.1

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet without face-to-face contact with others. v. 1
In the 20th century, Due to internet people can shop, work and communicate without face-to-face contact with another, I strongly support as it is a positive development because it save time and also it is money. To begin with, Individual are able to do shopping, work from home and also talk to other through online as it avoid wastage of time. Previously, people use traditional way to buy item by visiting physically, go to the office to carry on their work and also speak when they are in front of you, all this way use to consume a lot of time of the individual. But due to the technological advancement, people need not require to move physically to carry out. Sitting in at your place all the tasks are being carried out. For instance, In the US, all the tasks of purchase, work and communication are carried on the internet. Hence performing all this activities without moving is definitely a positive sign in today’s world. Furthermore, people are able to carry on with purchase, work and talk to others as it saves money. In Traditional method people use to go to shop to buy an item and physically move from home to the office to carry out work and finally to have a conversation, people use to visit the place of the person to talk. For all this movement and task amount needs to be spent in transport. But due to internet people are able to save cost on the movement as they are able to do complete this activity at their convenience with spending too much money as it was conventionally performed before. For example, As per a recent survey, it is concluded that people are saving a lot of money on this event. Therefore, this has saved huge amount and it has been confirmed it is Affordable by everyone, In conclusion, saving of time and money are the two main reasons for my complete agreement and is definitely a positive sign in the current modern world.
In the 20th century, Due to internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can shop,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and communicate without face-to-face contact with another, I
strongly
support as it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "saves"?
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
also
it is money.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Individual are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home and
also
talk to other through online as it
Did you mean "avoids"?
avoid
wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Previously,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
traditional way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
item by visiting
physically
, go to the office to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carry
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
also
speak when they are in front of you, all this way
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the individual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
due to the technological advancement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need not require to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
physically
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carry
out. Sitting in at your place all the tasks are
being carried
out.
For instance
, In the US, all the tasks of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and communication
are carried
on the internet.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
performing all
Did you mean "these"?
this
activities without moving is definitely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carry
on with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and talk to others as it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In Traditional method
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to go to shop to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an item and
physically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from home to the office to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carry
out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
finally
to have a conversation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
visit the place of the person to talk. For all this movement and task amount needs to
be spent
in transport.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
due to internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to save cost on the movement as they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to do complete this activity at their convenience with spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as it was
conventionally
performed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For example
, As per a recent survey, it
is concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
Therefore
, this has saved huge amount and it has
been confirmed
it is Affordable by everyone,

In conclusion
, saving of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are the two main reasons for my complete agreement and is definitely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
modern world.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet without face-to-face contact with others. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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