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In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face- to-face contact with others. It is a positvive or negative development? v.1

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face- to-face contact with others. It is a positvive or negative development? v. 1
In this era of continual development of modern science and technology, shopping, working, and even communicating with friends and family have become possible, even though this development reduces interaction between people. From my perspective, using the latest automation, like the internet, in everyday life considers a positive advancement. To begin with, it is true that these days, sticking attitude of people in online separate them from facial interaction. Hence, people have started to believe in virtual relationships rather than real relationships. The reason is that people, after coming from a hectic day, for example, find interest in various types of news, which telecast in different kinds of software as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, to name but a few, and this technology succours to converse with millions of friends at a time. All these advantages restrain individuals to contact facially with parents and other members in the family. Moreover, people develop their likings in communicating with virtual world where they would get a chance to enhance not only knowledge but also communication skill. Similarly, the internet also works as a mediator in executing the daily routine. It is now possible to shop sitting at home by clicking on a mouse button which neither takes a long time, nor individuals face any problem of bargaining. Furthermore, those who do not want the hassles of traffic congestion, they can conveniently work from home with a sense of satisfaction and contentment. Besides, communication with colleagues, friends, and relatives, especially, those who are living far away from their kith and kin, becomes easier due to online facility 24/7 hours. In conclusion, in this present world, the internet works as a contributing factor in implementing activities such as buying, taking job opportunities from online companies, and even in communicating with near and dear ones becomes impossible, since people are habituated with the modern technology. In my opinion, the benefits of the use of online have progressed human's life in a positive way.
In this era of continual development of modern science and technology, shopping, working, and even communicating with friends and family have become possible,
even though
this development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. From my perspective, using the latest automation, like the internet, in everyday life considers a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
advancement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is true that these days, sticking attitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
separate them from facial interaction.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to believe in virtual relationships
rather
than real relationships. The reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, after coming from a hectic day,
for example
, find interest in various types of news, which telecast in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of software as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few, and this technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
succours
to converse with millions of friends at a time. All these advantages restrain individuals to contact
facially
with parents and other members in the family.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
develop their
Possible spelling mistake found.
likings
in communicating with virtual world where they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to enhance not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

Similarly
, the internet
also
works as a mediator in executing the daily routine. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
possible to shop sitting at home by clicking on a mouse button which neither takes a long time, nor individuals face any problem of bargaining.
Furthermore
, those who do not want the hassles of traffic congestion, they can
conveniently
work from home with a sense of satisfaction and contentment.
Besides
, communication with colleagues, friends, and relatives,
especially
, those who are living far away from their kith and kin, becomes easier due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
facility 24/7 hours.

In conclusion
, in this present world, the internet works as a contributing factor in implementing activities such as buying, taking job opportunities from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, and even in communicating with near and dear ones becomes impossible, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are habituated
with the modern technology. In my opinion, the benefits of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
have progressed human's life in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face- to-face contact with others. It is a positvive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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