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In the last 20 years there have been significant developments in the field of information technology (IT), for example the World Wide Web and communication by email. However, these developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive v.2

In the last 20 years there have been significant developments in the field of information technology (IT), for example the World Wide Web and communication by email. However, these developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive v. 2
The authorities in some countries rank economic improvement over other issues. I support this view because the benefits of this policy offset the demerits as it will improve the employment status and the standard of living. One commonly cited disadvantage of the government prioritising growth in the economy of a nation over other issues is the negative impact on the health of the citizens. A major reason for this is that many employers would put more emphasis on work rather than the wellbeing of their employees. Thus, they could extend the duration of work, limit holidays and promote working overtime so as to increase profits. This has deleterious health consequences. For example, in recent years, some workers in Japan choose to work overtime or without a break. Although, this causes significant growth in the economy, however, some of this people develop health problems like depression, anxiety disorder and cardiovascular disease. This reveals the negative impact of such a policy. Despite this, there are two important advantages of increased emphasis on economic growth. First of all, it increases the job opportunities in many countries. People are often encouraged to start a business which would contribute positive to the nation's economy, coupled with the rise in capital flight into the country from foreign investors. As a consequence, there are more job offers in new companies and in other expanded industries. Furthermore, the standard of living of people in such countries improves. This is owing to the fact that improvements in a nation's economy would result in infrastructural developments such as better accommodations, good public transportation systems, improved health care and more social amenities. Therefore, people would be more satisfied with the work and their living conditions. In conclusion, although when government prioritises economic growth over other concerns, this could create more health challenges. However, I believe that the benefits of improved employment and the standards of living is more important.
The authorities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
rank economic improvement over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues. I support this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the benefits of this policy offset the demerits as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the employment status and the standard of living.

One
commonly
cited disadvantage of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritising' is British English.
prioritising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of a nation over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the citizens. A major reason for this is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers would put more emphasis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of their employees.
Thus
, they could extend the duration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, limit holidays and promote working overtime
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
increase profits. This has deleterious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
consequences.
For example
, in recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workers in Japan choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtime or without a break. Although, this causes significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems like depression, anxiety disorder and cardiovascular disease. This reveals the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of such a policy.

Despite this, there are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantages of increased emphasis on economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it increases the job opportunities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
encouraged to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a business which would contribute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
to the nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, coupled with the rise in capital flight into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from foreign investors. As a consequence, there are more job offers in new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
expanded industries.
Furthermore
, the standard of living of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
. This is owing to the fact that improvements in a nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
would result in infrastructural developments such as better accommodations,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
public transportation systems,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care and more social amenities.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be more satisfied with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and their living conditions.

In conclusion
, although when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritises' is British English.
prioritises
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
concerns, this could create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
challenges.
However
, I believe that the benefits of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
employment and the standards of living is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In the last 20 years there have been significant developments in the field of information technology (IT), for example the World Wide Web and communication by email. However, these developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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