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In the last 20 years there have been significant developments in the field of information technology (IT), for example the World Wide Web and communication by email. However, these developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.4

In the last 20 years there have been significant developments in the field of information technology (IT), for example the World Wide Web and communication by email. However, these developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future. v. 4
In the last two decades, there has been a boom in the information technology (IT) sector and the communication has all together changed due to the development of the email system. Although, this progress is eye catching, but it will have a negative impact in the years to come. In my opinion, I fully disagree with this, as technological advancement has turned this world into a global village and has also made our lives more comfortable. Firstly, improvements in the IT field have brought the nations more closer. Due to the use of internet, people have an easy access to the latest inventions of the world. On the one hand, there is an exchange of ideas and innovations more frequent. While on the other hand, there is an increase in competition among the countries to produce the best results. Moreover, due to the access of Watsapp, Facebook, Instagram and email, the social circle of individuals has increased and the families, although settled in different parts of the world, are more glued together. For example, a recent study conducted in the UK has shown that there is a decline of loneliness among elderly people due to the enhanced use of social media groups on the internet. Secondly, technology progress has made the life more cosy and full of comfort. Man has developed marvellous things for his ease, like cars, aeroplanes, mobile phones, air conditioners, televisions and many more things have been invented which have made the living conducive and easy. This has a direct impact on the social behaviour of a population. Moreover, this has also brought peace and harmony in the society. For example, a study published in the USA states that the progress of the nation is directly proportional to its lifestyle. To conclude, tremendous work in the subject of science and technology has made our lives easier and the effective interaction has compounded this effect.
In the last two decades, there has been a boom in the information technology (IT) sector and the communication has all together
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the development of the email system. Although, this progress is eye catching,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact in the years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. In my opinion, I
fully
disagree with this, as technological advancement has turned this world into a global village and has
also
made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more comfortable.

Firstly
, improvements in the IT field have brought the nations
Use only "closer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more closer
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "easy access".
an easy access
to the latest inventions of the world. On the one hand, there is an exchange of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and innovations more frequent. While
on the other hand
, there is an increase in competition among the countries to produce the best results.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the access of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Watsapp
, Facebook, Instagram and email, the social circle of individuals has increased and the families, although settled in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world, are more glued together.
For example
, a recent study conducted in the UK has shown that there is a decline of loneliness among elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the enhanced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of social media groups on the internet.

Secondly
, technology progress has made the life more
Possible spelling mistake. 'cosy' is British English.
cosy
and full of comfort.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
has developed
Possible spelling mistake. 'marvellous' is British English.
marvellous
things for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
, like cars,
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
, mobile phones, air conditioners, televisions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more things have
been invented
which have made the living conducive and easy. This has a direct impact on the social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of a population.
Moreover
, this has
also
brought peace and harmony in the society.
For example
, a study published in the USA states that the progress of the nation is
directly
proportional to its lifestyle.

To conclude
, tremendous work in the subject of science and technology has made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier and the effective interaction has compounded this effect.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In the last 20 years there have been significant developments in the field of information technology (IT), for example the World Wide Web and communication by email. However, these developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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