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In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. with this statement? v. 1
Not surprisingly, there has been a considerable boom in the number of population present days. In next decades staying alive on the Earth becomes difficult. Some people claim that great financial side should be spent on researching other planets to live namely Mars. I partly agree with this conception and some main aspects of this framework are beyond the scope of following paragraphs. The foremost reason why researchers investigate to search new planets rooted in ecological bad suspects such as global warming, deforestation and limiting natural resources. Consequently, diminishing equipments, our daily life cost and level have been increased. Although, inventing new planets can bring a new space to humanity. In fact that, around the world fifteen percent of people live in shelters especially Indians are martyrs. However, it has never opened up advantageous spheres vice versa environment has been destroyed with negative impacts to this activity for instance, launching rockets on the space ruined ozone layers and gases of ozone layers which help to balance global temperature stable. And searching new planets are not phenomenal solution. Supposedly variety of living conditions in the future people may be faced with difficulty. According to my conception firstly nature should spend own finances for saving the earth environment. For instance inventors update equipments which are the deputy of natural resources. In addition, new skyscrapers should be constructed by the government. Secondly, the proliferation in the number of baby degree should also be limited. For example, China and other populous countries. Resulting in this the figure of the population remains stable. In my opinion, rather than researching new planets to survive on the Earth the earth must attempt to save our nature from different ecological and urban population problems. In conclusion, many scientists convinced that in the future live on the Earth will be hard. Meanwhile the Major percentage of people feel that earthly wealth should be spent on searching planets which people can live, it is not primary solution, people should save own place resources.
Not
surprisingly
, there has been a considerable boom in the number of population present days. In
next
decades staying alive on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
becomes difficult.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that great financial side should
be spent
on researching other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
namely
Mars. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this conception and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main aspects of this framework are beyond the scope of following paragraphs.

The foremost reason why researchers investigate to search
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
rooted in ecological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
suspects such as global warming, deforestation and limiting natural resources.
Consequently
, diminishing equipments, our daily life cost and level have
been increased
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, inventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
can bring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
space to humanity. In fact that, around the world fifteen percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in shelters
especially
Indians are martyrs.
However
, it has never opened up advantageous spheres vice versa environment has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts to this activity
for instance
, launching rockets on the space ruined ozone layers and gases of ozone layers which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to balance global temperature stable. And searching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
are not phenomenal solution.

Supposedly
variety of living conditions in the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
be faced
with difficulty. According to my conception
firstly
nature should spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
finances for saving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
environment.
For instance
inventors update equipments which are the deputy of natural resources.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
skyscrapers should
be constructed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Secondly
, the proliferation in the number of baby degree should
also
be limited
.
For example
, China and other populous countries. Resulting in this the figure of the population remains stable. In my opinion,
rather
than researching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
to survive on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
attempt to save our nature from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ecological and urban population problems.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientists convinced that in the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
the Major percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
earthly
wealth should
be spent
on searching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, it is not primary solution,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place resources.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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