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In the future it seems more difficult to live on the earth. More money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

In the future it seems more difficult to live on the earth. More money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. v. 2
It is more challenging to live on earth nowadays. More money should spend on finding and researching other places to live for example Mars. Overall, I disagree with this statement. There are many reasons that we do not need to move to another planet. Although, Mars has many think similar to the earth but we in the process of researching and we have to understand more about the process. While, oxygen is the most important thing for human and we do not have the research that shows about the that got any oxygen on that planet. We have to find out more in many details and I will take approximately 100 years also it have to spend a lot of money to do the this experiment. However, we got a lot of environmental issues in my point of view if we use the money to help this problems it might more usefully. According to the last paragraph, we can see many news reports about the environmental problem nowadays for example, global warming, wildfire in Australia. however, this is not some of it that I give the example it have a lot more that people have to deal with. It would be helpful if we spend the money to help this problem, it is not a good idea to move out of the earth the problems is human not help to save the earth however, if we move to another planet we still have to deal with the same issue. In conclusion, I cannot imagine how much money that we have to spend for moving all world population to another planet. And we have to develop a lot of technology. We have to solve the problems by encouraging people to save and also solve the environmental problems that happen around the world.
It is more challenging to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
nowadays. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on finding and researching other places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for example
Mars.
Overall
, I disagree with this statement.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that we do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
. Although, Mars has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we in the process of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
researching and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
understand more about the process. While, oxygen is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
human and
we do not have the research that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
about the that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
any oxygen on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find out more in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and I will take approximately 100 years
also
it
Did you mean "has"?
have
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to do
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "the" or "this" is left.
the this
experiment.
However
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of environmental issues in my point of view if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
it might more
usefully
.

According to the last paragraph, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
news reports about the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
nowadays
for example
, global warming, wildfire in Australia.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of it that I give the example it
Did you mean "has"?
have
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
more that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with. It would be helpful if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is human not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
however
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
we
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with the same issue.

In conclusion
, I cannot imagine how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
for moving all world population to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
. And we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of technology. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to save and
also
solve the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that happen around the world.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay In the future it seems more difficult to live on the earth. More money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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