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In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. with this statement? v. 3
Nowadays, countries are investing a lot on space researches, and this money could be utilized perfectly to overcome the global issues we are facing on earth. I totally agree with this and the governments should allocate this money to improve the environmental issues on earth. This essay will discuss the positive sides of spending money to solve the conditions on earth in detail. To begin with, there are several reasons why the governments should spend this money to improve conditions on earth. Firstly, the global warming the one of the major threat on earth. As the earth temperature is increasing dramatically, the governments could spend this money to control the reasons behind it. For example, the government can start raising the awareness among citizens to minimize their contribution to this problem. Secondly, governments should invest in education services in the country. By doing this, they ensure having wide range of scientists to support the country in the development researches, which will add an economical value to the country. Furthermore, the governments should focus to build a full transportation system within the country. As a result, people will start using it rather than using their own cars which will reduce the greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. For example, in the USA the government provides public buses and metro that covers the full country. In addition, investing in the health system will add a great value to the citizens and will reduce the cost of medical treatments. Accordingly the majority of people will benefit from this and the country will have a healthy younger generation. To sum up, allocating the space researches money to improve the living conditions on earth is considered an essential option for the governments. In my opinion, it is important the governments to overcome earth issues and raise the quality of life before thinking to start the space researches
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are investing a lot on space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
, and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
be utilized
perfectly
to overcome the global issues we are facing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should allocate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the environmental issues on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to solve the conditions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
in detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should spend this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
conditions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
.
Firstly
, the global warming the one of the major threat on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
temperature is increasing
dramatically
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
could spend this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to control the reasons behind it.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
raising the awareness among citizens to minimize their contribution to this problem.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should invest in education services in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. By doing this, they ensure having wide range of scientists to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
an economical value to the country.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should focus to build a full transportation system within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using it
rather
than using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the greenhouse gases in the atmosphere.
For example
, in the USA the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provides public buses and metro that covers the full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In addition
, investing in the health system will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a great value to the citizens and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cost of medical treatments.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Accordingly
the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will benefit from this and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will have a healthy younger generation.

To sum up, allocating the space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the living conditions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
is considered
an essential option for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
issues and raise the quality of life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
thinking to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the space
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
researches
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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