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Some people believe that study online is more effective than studying on campus, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that study online is more effective than studying on campus, while others disagree. v. 1
Nowadays, online study has been increasingly popular. Some groups of individuals are in the favor of modern study style rather than traditional one. However, others are having another school of thoughts, in which they believe to go outside for their study. This essay will discuss below both sides of views behind my viewpoints. In this day and age, studying online is much more convenient than on campus. Wherein, students have no need to commute and face the jam-packed road. Moreover, as far as concern about the work in order to make work-life balance with study is also possible with the correspondence courses. For instance, according to recent survey children choose online training courses considerably to complete their further education. Therefore, children can pay attention to enhance their financial condition as well. On the contrary, tutees learn discipline while going to study on campus. They are motivated by the other students, while watching them to do practice in their field Moreover; comprehensive skills will also be affected in terms of all aspects of life. For instance, when pupils interact with others would automatically be educated regulations and enhance broad skills, which play a pivotal role to make them enlightened. To conclude, in some cases, where students have to do work with their education, online courses are the best source in order to complete their further study. Nevertheless, others, who go outside for their course are to be enlightened. One who is not either time bounded or to support financially should go on campus for completing their higher-study.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
has been
increasingly
popular.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
groups of individuals are in the favor of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
style
rather
than traditional one.
However
, others are having another school of thoughts, in which they believe to go outside for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. This essay will discuss below both sides of views behind my viewpoints.

In this day and age, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is much more convenient than on campus. Wherein, students have no need to commute and face the jam-packed road.
Moreover
, as far as concern about the work in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
work-life balance with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is
also
possible with the correspondence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
For instance
, according to recent survey children choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
considerably
to complete their
further
education.
Therefore
, children can pay attention to enhance their financial condition
as well
.

On the contrary
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutees
learn discipline while going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
on campus. They
are motivated
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students, while watching them to do practice in their field
Moreover
; comprehensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in terms of all aspects of life.
For instance
, when pupils interact with others would
automatically
be educated
regulations and enhance broad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which play a pivotal role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them enlightened.

To conclude
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, where students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do work with their education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are the best source in order to complete their
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Nevertheless
, others, who go outside for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
are to
be enlightened
. One who is not either time bounded or to support
financially
should go on campus for completing their higher-study.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that study online is more effective than studying on campus, while others disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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