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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v.17

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 17
International tourism definitely has some merits, however, there is a issue about whether its negative influences on local environment are more notable. From my perspective, there is no doubt that the merits of international tourism outweigh its demerits. On the one hand, tourism can improve economics of the country. Many people are willing to get involved in the local people's life when they travel at another country. In this situation, they spend money on the special local product and living hotels. This certainly bring profits to the country. Lots of local products cannot attract native people to purchase, which leads to a decreasing income. Thus, native people are more likely to welcome foreigners. Another merit is that many people travel around the world in order to seek for an ideal investment, that can bring a win-win result between countries. On the other hand, it is also approved that the local environment is damaged by a large number of tourists due to their impolite habits. For example, some foreigners do not respect the local inhabitants; they harm wild animals and plants, and throw rubbish. However, this is inevitable when the whole popularity increases. When foreigners live there, they are more like to pay attention on the local life. Thus, they easily ignore the emotions of local people. Although, this causes negative influences on their impressions, gaining profits, improving native employment, and enhancing the development of the country are making international tourism prosperous. In conclusion, it appears to me that the merits of international tourism are more notable than its drawbacks.
International
tourism
definitely has
some
merits
,
however
, there is
a
issue about whether its
negative
influences on
local
environment are more notable. From my perspective, there is no doubt that the
merits
of
international
tourism
outweigh its demerits.

On the one hand,
tourism
can
improve
economics of the
country
.
Many
people
are willing to
get
involved in the
local
people
's life when they travel at another
country
. In this situation, they spend money on the special
local
product and living hotels. This
certainly
bring profits to the
country
. Lots of
local
products cannot attract native
people
to
purchase
, which leads to a decreasing income.
Thus
, native
people
are more likely to welcome foreigners. Another
merit
is that
many
people
travel around the world in order to seek for an ideal investment, that can bring a win-win result between countries.

On the other hand
, it is
also
approved that the
local
environment
is damaged
by
a large number of
tourists due to their impolite habits.
For example
,
some
foreigners do not respect the
local
inhabitants; they harm wild animals and plants, and throw rubbish.
However
, this is inevitable when the whole popularity increases. When foreigners
live
there, they are more like to pay attention on the
local
life.
Thus
, they
easily
ignore
the emotions of
local
people
. Although, this causes
negative
influences on their impressions, gaining profits, improving native employment, and enhancing the development of the
country
are making
international
tourism
prosperous.

In conclusion
, it appears to me that the
merits
of
international
tourism
are more notable than its drawbacks.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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