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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, people all around the worl still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.1

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, people all around the worl still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1
The world population has been suffering from many problems which cause lots of diseases and death for centuries. As people have had a lack of providing food, the branch of agriculture have been doing plenty of improvements. Nonetheless, although advances can be seen, humans are still hungry. In this essay, the motives will be explored and actions which can be done about this problem will be presented. First and foremost, History shows that in the past farmers were the most respected people, who had a multitude of facilities to do, among public. However, as time passes individual became to be used to disrespecting people who work with the land. As customers do not estimate the value of labour which is done by farmer, they do not give their entire love to the soil. A solution is for government to restore ample respect and value of farmers. Secondly, advances are only being made for methods which increase people's knowledge. No one pays attention to the position of the soil, whether it is worthy to plant or not. If one only grow a plant in the exact place and if it is repetitive, ground also gets tired as humans do. Because all nutrition, which is the component of soil decrease gradually when it is spent for growing one type of seeds. This puzzle is tackled by that people replace the planting location annually as if cotton is reared this year, it will exchange with wheat next year. Moreover, in this expensive world, price is increasing unstoppingly which people, who is in the norm, are not able to afford to buy. In the same as all things; edible food costs are not inexpensive anymore. Therefore, a major part of the world population is feeling pain because of hunger. But enigma is addressed by diminishing high prices of goods till that it will become as cheap as everyone has enough fee to purchase it. By the way of a conclusion, life is a test which is full of questions that have not been answered yet. The response given by us evaluate in what condition we will live. Personally, I think nothing is impossible. If humanity desires not to be starved anymore, they definitely have the capacity to fulfil all solution that are stated above.
The world population has been suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems which cause lots of diseases and death for centuries. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have had a lack of providing food, the branch of agriculture have been doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of improvements. Nonetheless, although advances can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, humans are
still
hungry. In this essay, the motives will
be explored
and actions which can
be done
about this problem will
be presented
.

First
and foremost, History
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in the past farmers were the most respected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who had a multitude of facilities to do, among public.
However
, as time passes individual became to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to disrespecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work with the land. As customers do not estimate the value of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
which
is done
by farmer, they do not give their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to the soil. A solution is for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to restore ample respect and value of farmers.

Secondly
, advances are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
being made
for methods which increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's knowledge. No one pays attention to the position of the soil, whether it is worthy to plant or not. If one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
grow a plant in the exact place and if it is repetitive, ground
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
tired as humans do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
all nutrition, which is the component of soil decrease
gradually
when it
is spent
for growing one type of seeds. This puzzle
is tackled
by that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
replace the planting location
annually
as if cotton
is reared
this year, it will exchange with wheat
next
year.

Moreover
, in this expensive world, price is increasing
Possible spelling mistake found.
unstoppingly
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who is in the norm, are not able to afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. In the same as all things; edible food costs are not inexpensive anymore.
Therefore
, a major part of the world population is feeling pain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of hunger.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
enigma
is addressed
by diminishing high prices of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
till that it will become as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
as everyone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
fee to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it.

By the way of a conclusion, life is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
which is full of questions that have not
been answered
yet
. The response
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by us evaluate in what condition we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
nothing is impossible. If humanity desires not to
be starved
anymore, they definitely have the capacity to fulfil all solution that
are stated
above.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, people all around the worl still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
380 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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