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Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and state your opinion. v.1

Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v. 1
Many people are in favour of their country hosting a global sporting competition such as the World Cup or Olympics. Conversely, it is often argued that it is more problematic than beneficial to organise a competitive multinational event. This essay will examine both points of view and will state that sporting occasions bring more positive aspects to a host country. On the one hand, an increasing number of people do not want their country to hold a global sporting event because of the economic implications. This is because these events require a huge financial outlay and the benefits of this investment are not spread equally throughout society. Take the Rio Olympics, for instance, when the government greatly exceeded its budget and then required taxpayers to contribute more to fill the deficit. If Brazil had not hosted the Olympics, they could have invested significant funds in healthcare or education which would have enhanced the lives of the wider population. Despite the issues related to major sporting competitions, they can create positive social changes. One of the key ways this can happen is related to the improvement of sporting facilities which can help reduce the obesity epidemic. When applying for the Olympics in 2012, London had to prove their future investment into grassroots sports facilities and build sustainable venues which have created a long-term legacy. Six years later, British people are more active and stadiums are still in use or have been repurposed. Another important factor is these events can improve diplomatic relations which were epitomised by the Winter Olympics in South Korea. The event helped reduce tension in the region especially when South and North Korea competed for the first time under one flag. To sum up, while there are undoubtedly certain countries who have greater priorities than hosting a sporting event, generally, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. These include improving fitness levels of the general population, building or improving sporting facilities and creating harmony in the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of their country hosting a global sporting competition such as the World Cup or Olympics.
Conversely
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that it is more problematic than beneficial to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
a competitive multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. This essay will examine both points of view and will state that sporting occasions bring more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects to a host country.

On the one hand, an increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not want their country to hold a global sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the economic implications. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
require a huge financial outlay and the benefits of this investment are not spread
equally
throughout society. Take the Rio Olympics,
for instance
, when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
greatly
exceeded its budget and then required taxpayers to contribute more to fill the deficit. If Brazil had not hosted the Olympics, they could have invested significant funds in healthcare or education which would have enhanced the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the wider population.

Despite the issues related to major sporting competitions, they can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. One of the key ways this can happen
is related
to the improvement of sporting facilities which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the obesity epidemic. When applying for the Olympics in 2012, London had to prove their future investment into grassroots sports facilities and build sustainable venues which have created a long-term legacy. Six years later, British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more active and stadiums are
still
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
or have
been repurposed
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
diplomatic relations which were
Possible spelling mistake. 'epitomised' is British English.
epitomised
by the Winter Olympics in South Korea. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
tension in the region
especially
when South and North Korea competed for the
first
time under one flag.

To sum up, while there are
undoubtedly
certain countries who have greater priorities than hosting a sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
,
generally
, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. These include improving fitness levels of the general population, building or improving sporting facilities and creating harmony in the world.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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