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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because consumers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.1

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because consumers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1
In recent time, the pattern of shopping amongst the people has drastically changed. The local shops are eradicated from the market; they have been replaced by the large shopping malls in the public’s shopping preferences. Such a change has both bright and dark sides, which will discuss in the following paragraphs. To begin with, the positive development of the market containing the mega malls for the customers, first and foremost advantage is that the consumers have availability of wide range of products including imported goods. This facility allows the people to purchase variety of products willingly, whereas in the local shops, the customers have limited choices. As a result, the standard of living of the people is increasing as compared to the past. For example, the mega malls offers variety of good at discounted rates, hence the people are benefited by having more goods in their budget. Lastly, the local shops are trying to maintain the monopoly in many towns to get extra benefits, owing to availability of the large shopping mall this monopoly is converted into perfect competitive market. Thus, the large malls plays vital role in improving the public lifestyle. On the other hand, such changes brings negative development too. In rural areas the small shops are the backbone of their economy. Due to arrival of the mega malls, many local shops are faded from the market, which creates economic crises to the rural area. As a result, one section of the society has to suffer from unemployment and poverty. Moreover, the local shops, whilst the mega malls provoke the people to purchase imported products instead of local products. For instance, many handicraft small scale businesses of rural regions of India have been disappear due to the mall culture and materialism. Thus, the change in shopping patterns of the people have detrimental effect on domestic economy. In conclusion, the shopping habits of the people are influenced by the large shopping malls, which consists of both positive and negative effects. The government has to form policies of the sustainable business opportunity for the small shops.
In recent time, the pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are eradicated
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
; they have
been replaced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
in the public’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
preferences. Such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has both bright and dark sides, which will discuss in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
containing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
for the customers,
first
and foremost advantage is that the consumers have availability of wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
including imported
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. This facility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
willingly
, whereas in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, the customers have limited choices.
As a result
, the standard of living of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is increasing as compared to the past.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
offers variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at discounted rates,
hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are benefited
by having more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in their budget.
Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are trying to maintain the monopoly in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
towns to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
extra benefits, owing to availability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
this monopoly
is converted
into perfect competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
plays vital role in improving the public lifestyle.

On the other hand
, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development too. In rural areas the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are the backbone of their economy. Due to arrival of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are faded
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
, which creates economic crises to the rural area.
As a result
, one section of the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
suffer from unemployment and poverty.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, whilst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
provoke the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
handicraft
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale businesses of rural regions of India have been
Consider using a past participle here: "disappeared".
disappear
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
culture and materialism.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
patterns of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have detrimental effect on domestic economy.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are influenced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, which consists of both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
form policies of the sustainable business opportunity for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because consumers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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