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More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v.2

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v. 2
In recent years, many people aim to live in a city, since they can build and create a better life for them. However, there are still some drawbacks of living in a large metropolis. Personally, I believe that governments could take some actions to improve the quality of city life for average inhabitants. The main problem that everyone is suffering from is that the cost of living is a big city might be much higher than living in a small town or village. Inhabitants need to pay higher prices for housing, transport, taxes, schools, and even food. Another issue is that the quality of air is often poor, due to the pollution that traffic, public transport, and factories produce. The capital of South Korea (Soul), for example, experiences every year terrible air pollution from the huge factories which can affect the citizens' health, especially the children. City life is hectic and busy, so people often feel stressed and under pressure. As mentioned above, the high cost of living is the main problem of living in a city; therefore, inhabitants need to work hard to be able to cover all their needs. Some studies and researches showed that people who live in busy cities are could have a lack of their social life compared to those who live in the countryside or small towns. As a result of these negative aspects living is a city might be unhealthy and very stressful. On the flip side, there are some steps and action governments could take to develop these drawbacks and make the life of their inhabitants' much better. Firstly, a study can be implemented to understand the financial level of an average inhabitant to provide affordable services for them. Secondly, encourage people to use clean public transportations, which will help to reduce both air pollution and traffics. Finally, provide some entertainment activities and places that allow people to interact more with others and forget their stress and work problems. After analysing the situation, city life could be hard, but the governments have the control to enhance the quality of the inhabitants' life.
In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aim to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a city, since they can build and create a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for them.
However
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a large metropolis.
Personally
, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for average inhabitants.

The main problem that everyone is suffering from is that the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city might be much higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town or village. Inhabitants need to pay higher prices for housing, transport, taxes, schools, and even food. Another issue is that the quality of air is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
poor, due to the pollution that traffic, public transport, and factories produce. The capital of South Korea (Soul),
for example
, experiences every year terrible air pollution from the huge factories which can affect the citizens' health,
especially
the children.

City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is hectic and busy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and under pressure. As mentioned above, the high cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is the main problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a city;
therefore
, inhabitants need to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to be able to cover all their needs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
studies and researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are could have a lack of their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
compared to those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the countryside or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns.
As a result
of these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is a city might be unhealthy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
stressful.

On the flip side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps and action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could take to develop these drawbacks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of their inhabitants' much better.
Firstly
, a study can
be implemented
to understand the financial level of an average inhabitant to provide affordable services for them.
Secondly
, encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
clean public transportations, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
both air pollution and traffics.
Finally
, provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment activities and places that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interact more with others and forget their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and work problems.

After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the situation, city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have the control to enhance the quality of the inhabitants'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Munia Khan

IELTS essay More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
350 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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