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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.50

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 50
Despite of the fact that agricultural methods have improved drastically throughout these years, yet there are tons of people around the globe those are starving. There are various reasons for this situation, and the major ones are lack of distribution of resources and the rise in the population. However, there are plenty of solutions in order to minimize it. The inadequate food supply management system and improvised method of their distribution causes food scarcity, because there are a lot of underdeveloped nations where people reside in remote areas and authorities do not bother to circulate supplements on these places. For instance, countries like Africa is such country which is suffering from this kind of challenges. Moreover, the rise in the human population can also be seen as an issue for this, because in spite of high-tech equipment, production of vital crops for massive population is difficult. In order to solve this problem, the government needs to ensure that poverty-stricken people get necessary edible items at a very less price, so that they do not experience starvation. For example, in India authorities have made ration cards for people below the poverty line, so that they can have  supplements at cheap price. Additionally, meals which are over left in wedding and parties can be distributed to homeless people instead of throwing them. In conclusion, hunger is still a major problem the world is facing in this 21st century, caused by inappropriate distribution of food. Therefore, the government can provide required supplement to underprivileged people.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the fact that agricultural methods have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
drastically
 throughout these years,
yet
there are tons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe those are starving. There are various reasons for this situation, and the major ones are lack of distribution of resources and the rise in the population.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of solutions in order to minimize it.

The inadequate food supply management system and improvised method of their distribution causes food scarcity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
underdeveloped nations where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reside in remote areas and authorities do not bother to circulate supplements on these places.
For instance
, countries like Africa is such country which is suffering from this kind of challenges.
Moreover
, the rise in the human population can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as an issue for this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
high-tech equipment, production of vital crops for massive population is difficult.

In order to solve this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to ensure that poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
necessary edible items at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less price,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not experience starvation.
For example
, in India authorities have made ration cards for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
below the poverty line,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can have
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
supplements at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price.
Additionally
, meals which are over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in wedding and parties can
be distributed
to homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
instead
of throwing them.

In conclusion
, hunger is
still
a major problem the world is facing in this 21st century, caused by inappropriate distribution of food.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can provide required supplement to underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 50

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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