Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including for food and research. v. 3
Throughout history, people have had a conflicted relationship with animals, adoring them as pets and yet exploiting them for food, entertainment and as research subjects. While some feel that this abuse is justified, others are strongly opposed. In this essay, I will discuss these views and explain why I feel that we should reduce our reliance on animals. Many people claim that animals exist solely for our use and therefore, have few, if any, rights. The food industry, for instance, relies on the mass production of animals, most of which are kept in cramped and sometimes appalling conditions, which sometimes amount to torture. Since these animals are destined for slaughter anyway, some argue that their quality of life is irrelevant. The medical, scientific and cosmetics industries also use animals as objects, conducting painful and often fatal experiments on them, with little regard for their rights. Many people feel that the results of such tests are crucial to humankind and thus justify this inhumane treatment. Despite this, others, myself included, feel that this exploitation of animals ought to be reconsidered. As they are sentient beings, capable of feelings and relationships, they deserve more respect. To achieve this, although Veganism may not suit everyone, it is certainly possible for people to cut down on meat consumption or at least make more ethical choices. In medical research too, the aim should be to reduce animal use, refine techniques and to replace them with other means. Given the range of alternatives available, the treatment of animals can no longer be justified. In conclusion, humans have built their lives on the backs of animals. While some feel comfortable continuing in this way, I believe we now have other options available that allow us to protect their rights and still maintain our quality of life.
Throughout history,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have had a conflicted relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, adoring them as pets and
yet
exploiting them for food, entertainment and as research subjects. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that this abuse
is justified
, others are
strongly
opposed. In this essay, I will discuss these views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our reliance on animals.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
exist
solely
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and
therefore
, have few, if any, rights. The food industry,
for instance
, relies on the mass production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, most of which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in cramped and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
appalling conditions, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
amount to torture. Since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are destined
for slaughter anyway,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that their quality of life is irrelevant. The medical, scientific and cosmetics industries
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as objects, conducting painful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fatal experiments on them, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
regard for their rights.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that the results of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
are crucial to humankind and
thus
justify this inhumane treatment.

Despite this, others, myself included,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that this exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
ought to
be reconsidered
. As they are sentient beings, capable of feelings and relationships, they deserve more respect. To achieve this, although Veganism may not suit everyone, it is
certainly
possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on meat consumption or at least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more ethical choices. In medical research too, the aim should be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, refine techniques and to replace them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
means.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the range of alternatives available, the treatment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can no longer
be justified
.

In conclusion
, humans have built their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
on the backs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
comfortable continuing in this way, I believe we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
options available that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to protect their rights and
still
maintain our quality of life.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including for food and research. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts