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Reading a book is better than spending time on computers or TV. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Reading a book is better than spending time on computers or TV. v. 1
Our society, these past weeks, has been tested to its limits because of the unexpected quarantine that had to be enforced. This means that people must spend a lot of time in their households with limited options to entertain themselves. A big dilemma then arises as to what is more beneficial for us to do at this time, read books or spend our time surfing the web or watching Tv. In this essay I will discuss what, in my opinion, is the best alternative. Firstly, as we are all aware of books are a really important factor in our lives due to the positive effect, they have on us. The range of books is fascinating, and they all offer us a better understanding of the outside world, but also the emotional side of us. Furthermore, they enrich our knowledge and of course improve our vocabulary which is important for all kinds of communication (written or oral). To illustrate, a survey carried out by the university of Cambridge showed that 4/5 people that read books on a daily basis have a richer vocabulary and impressive communication skills. Secondly, there are some pros and cons referring to time spent on computers or the on television. On the one hand, both take part in broadening our horizons and sharpening our critical thinking. This is achieved with the information that we accumulate from the news, shows, movies and articles we come across. However, this information is not always true, although it seems like it. On the other hand, the dangers that these media sources withhold are worrying. On the internet people can get hooked on gambling websites and loose a fortune or be harassed on chatting websites. In addition, on Tv people can spend all their time watching reality shows that have nothing constructive to offer them. For example, the Greek government surveyed about what people have been doing on the web these past few weeks and saw a rise of 40% in gambling websites. In conclusion, books and media have a lot to offer to the individual. In my opinion, people should spend their time responsibly on both, but must be better informed about the drawbacks that the internet and tv have.
Our society, these past weeks, has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
to its limits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the unexpected quarantine that had to
be enforced
. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their households with limited options to entertain themselves. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
dilemma then arises as to
what is more
beneficial for us to do at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
surfing the web or watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
. In this essay I will discuss what, in my opinion, is the best alternative.

Firstly
, as we are all aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are a
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect, they have on us. The range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is fascinating, and they all offer us a better understanding of the outside world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the emotional side of us.
Furthermore
, they enrich our knowledge and
of course
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our vocabulary which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for all kinds of communication (written or oral). To illustrate, a survey carried out by the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
university of Cambridge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 4/5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on a daily basis have a richer vocabulary and impressive communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons referring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on computers or the on television. On the one hand, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in broadening our horizons and sharpening our critical thinking. This
is achieved
with the information that we accumulate from the news,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, movies and articles we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across.
However
, this information is not always true, although it seems like it.
On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
that these media sources withhold are worrying. On the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hooked on gambling websites and loose a fortune or
be harassed
on chatting websites.
In addition
, on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that have nothing constructive to offer them.
For example
, the Greek
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
surveyed about what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been doing on the web these past few weeks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a rise of 40% in gambling websites.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and media have a lot to offer to the individual. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
responsibly
on both,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be better informed about the drawbacks that the internet and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
have.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Reading a book is better than spending time on computers or TV. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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