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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 2
There is no doubt that crime must be punished, however, it is important to consider which type of the penal system rule is most appropriate. While some believe that an organization of fixed sentences should be adopted, I support the view that punishments should be based on motives and circumstances. On the one hand, those who advocate implementing a judicial process of immovable punishments may argue that this would make criminal trials more efficient. For example, once a jury has decided a particular defendant is guilty of murder, the judge need only refer to the ‘punishment for murder’ to the sentence that person to life imprisonment. The benefit of this is that a huge amount of time would be saved in court, thus leading to significant financial savings. As a result, more money could be spent on healthcare, education, and welfare. On the other hand, I would argue that the above rule is too rigid, and a process of ‘flexible’ punishments is much fairer. The latter punishment scheme, which many countries use, leaves more room for compassion toward offenders who have been blackmailed or manipulated. For instance, under this scheme, if a thief is able to prove that he had been bullied into committing his crime, he should be sentenced to less prison time than a thief who had been motivated by greed. If, instead, fixed punishments were implemented, this sense of fairness and morality would be lost. In conclusion, while a legal structure of fixed punishments might be more cost-effective and efficient, a procedure of assessing crimes based on circumstances and motives has been more just, and justice, in my view, is paramount.
There is no doubt that crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be punished
,
however
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider which type of the penal system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
is most appropriate. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that an organization of
The word 'fixed' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
fixed
sentences should
be adopted
, I support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
should
be based
on motives and circumstances.

On the one hand, those who advocate implementing a judicial process of immovable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
may argue that this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
criminal trials more
The word 'efficient' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
efficient
.
For example
, once a jury has decided a particular defendant is guilty of murder, the judge need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
refer to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘punishment
for murder’ to the sentence that person to life imprisonment. The
The word 'benefit' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
benefit
of this is that a huge amount of time would
be saved
in court,
thus
leading to
The word 'significant' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
significant
The word 'financial' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
financial
savings.
As a result
, more money could
be spent
on healthcare, education, and welfare.

On the other hand
, I would argue that the above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
is too rigid, and a process of ‘
The word 'flexible' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
flexible
’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
is much fairer. The latter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
scheme, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
more room for compassion toward offenders who have
been blackmailed
or manipulated.
For instance
, under this scheme, if a thief is able to prove that he had
been bullied
into committing his crime, he should
be sentenced
to less prison time than a thief who had
been motivated
by greed. If,
instead
,
The word 'fixed' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
were implemented
, this sense of fairness and morality would
be lost
.

In conclusion
, while a legal structure of
The word 'fixed' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
might be more cost-effective and
The word 'efficient' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
efficient
, a procedure of assessing crimes based on circumstances and motives has been more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
, and justice, in my view, is paramount.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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