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Some people feel that petrol cars should be banned. Others feel that we should be allowed to drive petrol cars. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people feel that petrol cars should be banned. Others feel that we should be allowed to drive petrol cars. v. 1
Nowadays people tend to have different opinions regarding a use of petrol car. While some insist on continuation of them, I personally agree and argue with those who support ban on these cars as it is a non-renewable energy resource and we should restrict its usage. Those who feel patrol cars should be allowed are concerned about the stress on the other forms of transportation. Since these cars are banned, all of the commuters will have to rely on the other available transport options. For example, people who go to the work will have to take a bus or a train to commute to their destination. As a consequence, possibility of over crowding in these public transport systems is very high and can cause inconvenience to the passengers. One significant reason why I feel patrol cars should be banned is that the patrol is non-renewable energy resource and cause of the air pollution. Which means once we have used all the available fuel in the future, it is impossible to reproduce this. Hence it is necessary to restrict its usage by narrowing down the availability to the consumers. To describe, suppose all patrol cars are banned and people are using the alternate options, it can aid a reduction in the air pollution. As a whole this act might help to protect the environment. In conclusion, while those who support petrol cars are worried about over-crowding in the public transport as a result of patrol car ban, I stand firm with this initiative to close out these cars because it can help in conservation of the precious resource as well as the environment.
Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions regarding a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
insist on continuation of them, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and argue with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
support ban on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
as it is a non-renewable energy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
resource and
we should restrict its usage.

Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
Please check whether 'to' is missing here (to allow to do something).
are
concerned about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on the other forms of transportation. Since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are banned
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
commuters will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely on the other available transport options.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
go to the work will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take a bus or a train to commute to their destination. As a consequence, possibility of over crowding in these public transport systems is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high and can cause inconvenience to the passengers.

One significant reason why I feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should
be banned
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patrol
is non-renewable energy resource and cause of the air pollution. Which means once we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
all the available fuel in the future, it is impossible to reproduce this.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is necessary to restrict its usage by narrowing down the availability to the consumers. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
, suppose all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are banned
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using the alternate options, it can aid a reduction in the air pollution.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a whole this act might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to protect the environment.

In conclusion
, while those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
support petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are worried
about over-crowding in the public transport
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ban, I stand firm with this initiative to close out these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in conservation of the precious resource
as well
as the environment.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that petrol cars should be banned. Others feel that we should be allowed to drive petrol cars. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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