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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 3
Even though technology is developing at a fast pace and the standard of living of most individuals has gone up, billions of people still live in poverty, and in many places, the rich countries give financial aid to developing and underdeveloped countries. I completely agree that developed countries should render other types of aid to the poor countries and not direct financial aid. There are numerous reasons why affluent nations should not assist poverty stricken countries financially. Firstly, financial aid may not actually reach those for whom it is meant for. it may go into corrupt pockets. Secondly, it would make those people lazy as they would be getting help without doing any work. Thirdly, the aid may be used for wrong purposes. For example, the aid may be given for development projects but it may used to promote terrorism. Therefore, well-to-do countries should assist poorer countries in other ways rather than financial help. The effective method to assist underdeveloped countries should be to open good education institutes, good health centres and creating job opportunities for people of the poor countries. Education program will impact knowledge to the populace thereby enhancing productivity. In addition, good hospitals will reduce mortality and morbidity rate in the country. To illustrate, a recent survey carried out at Libya by department of Health and Environment resources revealed that the death rate of the people reduced from 75% to 20% due to a huge hospitals built by American president in 2017. Hence, education and infrastructures will no longer improve the individual but a whole nation. In conclusion, financial help is not the best way to assist poor countries. In my opinion, I completely agree that developed countries ought to assist impoverished countries through other approaches.
Even though
technology is developing at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace and the standard of living of most individuals has gone up, billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in poverty, and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places, the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
to developing and underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should render other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
to the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and not direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid.

There are numerous reasons why affluent nations should not assist
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
poverty stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
financially
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
may not actually reach those for whom it
is meant
for.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
may go into corrupt pockets.
Secondly
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lazy as they would be getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
without doing any work.
Thirdly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
purposes.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for development projects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "use"
used
to promote terrorism.
Therefore
, well-to-do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should assist poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in other ways
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

The effective method to assist underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should be to open
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education institutes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and creating job opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Education program will impact knowledge to the populace thereby enhancing productivity.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
hospitals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
mortality and morbidity rate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To illustrate, a recent survey carried out at Libya by department of Health and Environment resources revealed that the death rate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
from 75% to 20% due to a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "hospital"?
hospitals
built by American president in 2017.
Hence
, education and infrastructures will no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a whole nation.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
is not the best way to assist poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
ought to assist impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
through other approaches.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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