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In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.1

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1
World hunger has been a major problem since mankind began. Many reasons has been attributed as the cause of this issue and over the years, solutions has been sought. Despite the numerous technological revolutions in agriculture all through the centuries, the world has still conquered starvation. In my opinion, hunger still persists because of wars in certain areas and also because the rich have not taken the poor seriously. One major reason why hunger persists despite technological advancements in farming is because of strife among nations. In essence, when countries fight each other, they destroy crops and food in order to limit the strength of the opposition. For example, there was mass destruction of farm lands during the world wars fought in the twentieth century and this consequently led to global food shortages. This resulted in deaths of millions of people and inability to continue the war. Another major reason is greed amongst rich people. The rich do not care about the welfare of the poor and hence they do not invest in production of food in the nations where they dwell. This has gradually left many poor people hungry without and though there have been technological improvements in farming, these people are too poor to benefit. I believe that if nations sort to find solutions for their differences, there will be no wars. This means that countries must take a deliberate effort at ensuring that they do not fight one another. In this case, it means that countries should set up a global judicial system such that issues between countries can be resolved amicably. This would ensure that no one destroys food because of strife. Also, the rich should invest in production of foods commonly consumed by low income earners. In other words, if rich people invest money on equipment for manufacture of cheap foods, then world hunger will be history. A case in point is the instance when the people of Monrovia established factories for mass production of semolina. This caused lots of people to resort to consumption of semolina and hence hunger issue was stopped. In conclusion, although there are reasons why hunger persists despite technological evolvement in agriculture, finding other means to resolve disputes and investments in poor people’s food production are sure ways to eliminate world hunger.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
has been a major problem since mankind began.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
been attributed
as the cause of this issue and over the years, solutions has
been sought
. Despite the numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
revolutions in agriculture all through the centuries, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has
still
conquered starvation. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
still
persists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
in certain areas and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
have not taken the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
seriously
.

One major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
persists despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
advancements in farming is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of strife among nations. In essence, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
fight each other, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
crops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in order to limit the strength of the opposition.
For example
, there was mass destruction of farm lands during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
fought in the twentieth century and this
consequently
led to global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shortages. This resulted in deaths of millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and inability to continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
. Another major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is greed
Do not mix variants of the same word ('amongst' and 'among') within a single text.
amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
do not care about the welfare of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and
hence
they do not invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the nations where they dwell. This has
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hungry without and though there have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
improvements in farming, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
to benefit.

I believe that if nations sort to find solutions for their differences, there will be no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take a deliberate effort at ensuring that they do not fight one another.
In this case
, it means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should set up a global judicial system such that issues between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
be resolved
amicably
. This would ensure that no one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of strife.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
should invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
commonly
consumed by low income earners.
In other words
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
invest money on equipment for manufacture of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
will be history. A case in point is the instance when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Monrovia established factories for mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of semolina. This caused lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to resort to consumption of semolina and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
issue was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.

In conclusion
, although there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
persists despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
Possible spelling mistake found.
evolvement
in agriculture, finding other means to resolve disputes and investments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
are sure ways to eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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