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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? * v.19

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? * v. 19
Agriculture & the hunger The ideal reasons behind why agriculture and farming are practised is to satiate one’s hunger. However, still there are many numbers of less privileged people suffering because of hunger. In my vision if agriculture is thriving, hunger should have been disappeared. In this essay, we shall see the reasons behind why many people still suffer in hunger and how do we bridge the gap between agriculture and hunger. There is a façade that if a country is flourishing with vegetation and agriculture, the citizens of that country will have easy access to food. But, that is not happening everywhere. Let’s take the Brazil or the Argentina, where the farming and agriculture community work tirelessly to gain good dividends. Furthermore, the monsoon never plays any spoilsport. In spite of these ideal conditions, hunger still persists and the reason is skyrocketing prices of crops which led people to kill among themselves to rob money, as they had to fight to eat proper food. In these places there is an inflation wave that peaks at unimaginable extent that pushes the prices of crops along with the prices that are further elevated by the middle-level businessmen, who make the prices of essential food commodities as highly unaffordable to the layman. This inflation is caused by the government, which is not playing any concrete role to regulate the food prices. Uncontrollable and rampant corruption right from top level till the low level bureaucrats make, the less fortunate to endure in hunger. How do we fix it? Everything can be mitigated if there is a strong will. Let’s see the Vietnam and the South Korea, these countries also suffered a similar kind of anarchic governments in the past, where people stood up against these governments and have overthrown them. Such uprisings do wonders. Now, there is a complete transparency in bureaucracy. The prices of crops are not fluctuating right from prices of seeds till the food commodities reach the public distribution shops. This regulation has been made tenable only because the corruption has been controlled with an iron fist. Furthermore, the government should open community homes to ration the food items as free for people living below poverty lines so that they could get the basic commodities from these homes after showing their meagre finances. To conclude, it is very disheartening on seeing from the school going children, blue-collar workers, old people and all suffer from hunger because of high priced food. Therefore, food prices should always be under check such that it should be made affordable to everyone. Feeding food to hunger is a basic civil amenity that one could expect from the government. Let’s join hands to make a hunger free world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Agriculture
& the hunger

The ideal reasons behind why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
and farming are
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
is to satiate one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
.
However
,
still
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
numbers of less privileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
. In my vision if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
is thriving,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
should have
been disappeared
. In this essay, we shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the reasons behind why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
suffer in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
and how do we bridge the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
and hunger.

There is a façade that if a country is flourishing with vegetation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
, the citizens of that country will have easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
that is
not happening everywhere.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s take the Brazil or the Argentina, where the farming and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
community work
tirelessly
to gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
dividends.
Furthermore
, the monsoon never plays any spoilsport.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these ideal conditions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
still
persists and the reason is skyrocketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of crops which led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to kill among themselves to rob money, as they had to fight to eat proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In these places there is an inflation wave that peaks at unimaginable extent that pushes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of crops along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
that are
further
elevated by the middle-level businessmen, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
commodities as
highly
unaffordable to the layman. This inflation
is caused
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, which is not playing any concrete role to regulate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
. Uncontrollable and rampant corruption right from
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
till the low level bureaucrats
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
, the less fortunate to endure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
. How do we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it?

Everything can
be mitigated
if there is a strong will.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the Vietnam and the South Korea, these countries
also
suffered a similar kind of anarchic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in the past, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stood up against these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and have overthrown them. Such uprisings do wonders.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, there is a complete transparency in bureaucracy. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of crops are not fluctuating right from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of seeds till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
commodities reach the public distribution shops. This regulation has
been made
tenable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the corruption has
been controlled
with an iron fist.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should open community homes to ration the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items as free for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living below poverty lines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the basic commodities from these homes after showing their
Possible spelling mistake. 'meagre' is British English.
meagre
finances.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disheartening on seeing from the school going children, blue-collar workers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and all suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high priced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
should always be under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
such that it should
be made
affordable to everyone. Feeding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
is a basic civil amenity that one could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
free
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
world
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? * v. 19

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
451 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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