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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? v.1

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1
There are those who say that in this twenty century, there is a large portion of hungry people while the development of agriculture is moving fast forward. This essay will examine this problem and offer some solutions. In this modernization era, the price of food becomes a major problem, numerous studies have consistently found that developing in agriculture takes advantage mostly to the developed countries because they have the scientists, developers, and investors to support the new technology in food industries. As a result, the advances made in agriculture have a limited boundary only on some continents because, in some underdeveloped nations, governments invested a small portion of the food technology and farming system. This leads to a problem of food ingredients which was rare and pricey because of the lack of innovation in the farming system. Furthermore, the technology of food products made the cost of food and ingredients higher than usual because the machines are higher cost than using human employees and this effect directly to the diet products, some people cannot afford to buy this costly product. Lastly, in various countries, geography not proper to grain any plants or they cannot find sources of water supply. As a result, food and basic ingredients are extremely expensive because they have to import food products from other countries. On the other hand, the government should play a role in this case. Firstly, they must control the food price over the markets because food is a basic need of humanity and everyone should effort to pay such as rice and eggs. Secondly, they must asset in local farming communities to make them supplier good quality products and share the market with industrial products. Finally, they should share the innovation of technology to other poverty countries and educate people to integrate the technology in their places. In conclusion, there are various causes of hungry people and the motor problem pointed to the price of food products. However, the government should solve this problem by controlling price, invest in local farming system and share innovation with other poverty countries.
There are those who say that in this twenty century, there is a large portion of hungry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while the development of agriculture is moving
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
fast forward
. This essay will examine this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

In this modernization era, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
becomes a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, numerous studies have
consistently
found that developing in agriculture takes advantage
mostly
to the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the scientists, developers, and investors to support the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industries.
As a result
, the advances made in agriculture have a limited boundary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
continents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
underdeveloped nations,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
invested a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
portion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
system. This leads to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
ingredients which was rare and pricey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of innovation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
system.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
made the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and ingredients higher than usual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the machines are higher cost than using human employees and this effect
directly
to the diet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
this costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Lastly
, in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, geography not proper to grain any
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
plants or
they cannot find sources of water supply.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and basic ingredients are
extremely
expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should play a role
in this case
.
Firstly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
over the markets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is a basic need of humanity and everyone should effort to pay such as rice and eggs.
Secondly
, they
The word 'asset' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
must asset
in local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
communities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them supplier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and share the market with industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Finally
, they should share the innovation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to integrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in their places.

In conclusion
, there are various causes of hungry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
pointed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
, invest in local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
system and share innovation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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