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Excessive traffic has made cities unpleasant laces to live and work in, private cars should be completely banned from city centers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Excessive traffic has made cities unpleasant laces to live and work in, private cars should be completely banned from city centers. v. 1
For some time now, cities have become an undesirable choice to live in due to burgeoning traffic problems. This is becoming a serious menace with each passing day, causing a lot of problems for the citizens in general. This essay will discuss why I am wholly in favour of implementing a total ban on the privately owned cars from the city centres. In addition to the traffic, private vehicles contribute a lot to the urban air pollution, which can have adverse effects on the health of the people. People of all ages are becoming a victim of serious health issues because of the rising levels of smoke in the atmosphere. For instance, in a recent study in the USA, seventy percent of the people are affected by breathing and other related issues due to air pollution, which is a big number to be considered. Hence, a serious check is needed on the pollution levels due to the traffic and only the CNG operated public vehicles should be allowed to ply on the roads. Another fact adding to the issue of traffic due to privately owned cars is the unauthorised parking. Many a times, it has been observed that most of the personal four-wheelers are wrongly parked, for example, at the corner of a heavily running road. A number of steps need to be taken to curb this matter. To exemplify, in France, a hefty fine of around 50 pounds is imposed on the offenders of incorrect parking. Therefore, these facts are enough to prove that personal automobiles should be completely wiped off from the urban regions. To sum things up, personalized conveyance has invariably become a major concern for the city population which has been tussling with the constant jams on a daily basis. This essay discussed why I entirely agree with prohibiting the personalized automobiles from plying on metropolitan roads.
For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, cities have become an undesirable choice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to burgeoning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems. This is becoming a serious menace with each passing day, causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems for the citizens
in general
. This essay will discuss why I am wholly in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of implementing a total ban on the
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
cars from the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.

In addition
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
, private vehicles contribute a lot to the urban air pollution, which can have adverse effects on the health of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
of all ages are becoming a victim of serious health issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rising levels of smoke in the atmosphere.
For instance
, in a recent study in the USA, seventy percent of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by breathing and other related issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to air pollution, which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
number to
be considered
.
Hence
, a serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
is needed
on the pollution levels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the CNG operated public vehicles should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
ply
on the roads.

Another fact adding to the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
cars is the
Possible spelling mistake. 'unauthorised' is British English.
unauthorised
parking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
, it has
been observed
that most of the personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
four-wheelers
are
wrongly
parked,
for example
, at the corner of a
heavily
running road. A number of steps need to
be taken
to curb this matter. To exemplify, in France, a hefty fine of around
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
50 pounds
is imposed
on the offenders of incorrect parking.
Therefore
, these facts are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to prove that personal automobiles should be completely wiped off from the urban regions.

To sum things up, personalized conveyance has
invariably
become a major concern for the city population which has been tussling with the constant jams on a daily basis. This essay discussed why I
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with prohibiting the personalized automobiles from plying on metropolitan roads.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Excessive traffic has made cities unpleasant laces to live and work in, private cars should be completely banned from city centers. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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