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In spite of being advanced in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry why is this case? what can be done about this problem? v.1

In spite of being advanced in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry why is this case? what can be done about this problem? v. 1
In recent days, it has been an increasing concern that although technology enhances farming productivity rapidly, numerous people throughout the world still are still starving. There are various reasons why this problem has occurred and there are some solutions are proposed to solve this issue. There are two main courses of the increasing quality famine in spite of agriculture advances. First and foremost, it is obvious that improving technologies of farming are not occurred in all nations. Specifically, most developed countries such as Amerian, China, Japan have great finance to construct system technologies which enhance productivity rapidly while developing countries such as nations in Africa can not be affordable to create or buy these machines. As a result, a number of foods belong to those who live in developed countries have a high living standard, in contrast, the percentage of starvation in poor nations still remains. Second, it is undeniable that a natural disaster has a negative influence on agriculture. Based on research, millions of crops are destroyed by a natural disaster every year. In Vietnam, many farmers lose all harvest crops and become poor because the frightfully unpredictable flood happened in one night. However, there are some solutions recommended for tackling this issue. First, international organizations should have a policy to help developing countries. They should encourage developed countries share and exchange their experience their method of updating farming technologies to others. Henceforth, poor countries can find the best way to improve their productivity. Second, each nation should have methods to prevent the negative effect on agriculture such as planting trees and building hydroelectricity. In conclusion, although various people still in the world go hungry, there are some solutions to deal with the problem.
In recent days, it has been an increasing concern that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
enhances farming productivity
rapidly
, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
throughout the world
still
are
still
starving. There are various reasons why this problem has occurred and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions
are proposed
to solve this issue.

There are two main courses of the increasing quality famine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
agriculture advances.
First
and foremost, it is obvious that improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
of farming are not occurred in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Specifically
, most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amerian
, China, Japan have great finance to construct system
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
which enhance productivity
rapidly
while developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in Africa can not be affordable to create or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these machines.
As a result
, a number of foods belong to those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a high living standard,
in contrast
, the percentage of starvation in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
still
remains. Second, it is undeniable that a natural disaster has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on agriculture. Based on research, millions of crops are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by a natural disaster every year. In Vietnam,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
farmers lose all harvest crops and become poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
frightfully
unpredictable flood happened in one night.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions recommended for tackling this issue.
First
, international organizations should have a policy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. They should encourage developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
share and exchange their experience their method of updating farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
to others. Henceforth, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can find the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their productivity. Second, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should have methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on agriculture such as planting trees and building hydroelectricity.

In conclusion
, although various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
in the world go hungry, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to deal with the problem.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In spite of being advanced in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry why is this case? what can be done about this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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