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Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.6

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 6
Some people think that affluence does not provide sustainable peace of mind. I completely agree with this statement. This is a will first discuss about the short time pleasure of a luxurious lifestyle and followed by spiritual needs to guarantee true human happiness. To begin with, money can afford luxuries for a short time period, but cannot satisfy an individual for a lifetime. In other words, bliss is an innate power which comes from inside, through money, a person can only fulfil his excessive greed, but cannot sustain a pleasure of his internal satisfaction in the long run. The survey, conducted by the World Health Organisation concluded that more than 50% of well privileged people are vulnerable to distress and anxiety, which makes them more physically ill and hence, cause of dreadful diseases, like hypertension, cardiovascular diseases and depression. Consequently, this is an ultimate reason of unhappiness among wealthier people. On the other hand, besides wealth, there are some other factors, which guarantees human prosperity and contentment. These aspects care love, compassion, altruism, appreciation, et cetera. Instead of wealth, Lifelong joy can only be achieved by training and educating the sentient mind for these factors. The mother of a nation known as Mother Teresa is one of the suitable examples, who spent all of her life to contribute to society and help poorer to achieve an innate power of bliss. In conclusion, people argue that happiness cannot be achieved by prosperity and wealth, because laughter is the human power which cannot be accomplished with luxurious things and it can only be fulfilled by showing love, compassion, altruism and appreciation for others.
Some
people
think
that affluence does not provide sustainable peace of mind. I completely
agree
with this statement. This is a will
first
discuss about the
short time pleasure of a luxurious lifestyle and followed by spiritual needs to guarantee true human happiness.

To
begin
with, money can afford luxuries for a short time period,
but
cannot satisfy an individual for a lifetime. In
other
words, bliss is an innate power which
comes
from inside, through money, a person can
only
fulfil his excessive greed,
but
cannot sustain a pleasure of his internal satisfaction in the long run. The survey, conducted by the World Health
Organisation
concluded that more than 50% of well privileged
people
are vulnerable to distress and anxiety, which
makes
them more
physically
ill and
hence
, cause of dreadful diseases, like hypertension, cardiovascular diseases and depression.
Consequently
, this is an ultimate reason of unhappiness among wealthier
people
.

On the
other
hand,
besides
wealth, there are
some
other
factors, which guarantees human prosperity and contentment. These aspects care
love
, compassion, altruism, appreciation,
et cetera
.
Instead
of wealth, Lifelong joy can
only
be achieved
by training and educating the sentient mind for these factors. The mother of a nation known as Mother Teresa is one of the suitable examples, who spent all of her life to contribute to society and
help
poorer to achieve an innate power of bliss.

In conclusion
,
people
argue that happiness cannot
be achieved
by prosperity and wealth,
because
laughter is the human power which cannot
be accomplished
with luxurious things and it can
only
be fulfilled
by showing
love
, compassion, altruism and appreciation for others.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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