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In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e. g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e. g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed? Do you agree or disagree? v.9

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e. g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e. g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed? v. 9
Many argue that the arts are often chosen by girls and science is the options of boys in school and universities. This essay will discuss what are the reasons behind this tendency and why they need to be replaced. I wholeheartedly believe that this trend should be changed. To begin with, it is generally believed that boys are good at science-related subjects. This view is rooted so deep in our society that many females have already accepted it. This is more prevalent in developing countries where parents expect their sons to have a career while daughters become moderately educated and finally get married and have a family. For example, Studying in science majors requires more money in most of the countries and this is why parents naturally select their boys to study science. Females, on the other hand, need to take many responsibilities of the family, even during their student life and prefer to have subjects that do not require a great deal of study, as they consider it. Another reason for subject options at school may come from students’ parents who want their children to follow who they would like their children to become in the future. Many parents, for instance, tend to hope their boys pursue some jobs such as scientists rather than artists or musicians because they consider jobs related to the arts are not stable and ideal for men to some extent. As a result, boys and girls just pick up their subjects according to their parents’ wishes without any intention or passion in them. In other words, deciding what to learn at school is students’ opportunities and parents and teachers are not allowed to make it compulsory in order to provide a better education system for students. In conclusion, both boys and girls should equally have the chance to take their options about subjects at school and universities. Women empowerment is quite an important factor for the overall development of a nation and that is why females should be given a fair chance to participate in any subjects including science majors in the schools. This trend would bring more positive outcomes than restricting their fields of education and work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that the arts are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
chosen by girls and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is the options of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and universities. This essay will discuss what are the reasons behind this tendency and why they need to
be replaced
. I
wholeheartedly
believe that this trend should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
generally
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at science-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. This view
is rooted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
deep in our society that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
females have already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
it. This is more prevalent in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
their sons to have a career while daughters become
moderately
educated and
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married and have a family.
For example
, Studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
majors requires more money in most of the countries and this is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
naturally
select their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. Females,
on the other hand
, need to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
responsibilities of the family, even during their student life and prefer to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that do not require a great deal of study, as they consider it.

Another reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
options at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who want their children to follow who they would like their children to become in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
for instance
, tend to hope their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
pursue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs such as scientists
rather
than artists or musicians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they consider jobs related to the arts are not stable and ideal for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and girls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pick up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
wishes without any intention or passion in them.
In other words
, deciding what to learn at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is students’ opportunities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it compulsory in order to provide a better education system for students.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and girls should
equally
have the chance to take their options about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and universities. Women empowerment is quite an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor for the
overall
development of a nation and
that is
why females should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
chance to participate in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
majors in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This trend would bring more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes than restricting their fields of education and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
work
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e. g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e. g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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