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In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e. g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e. g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed? Do you agree or disagree? v.4

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e. g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e. g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed? v. 4
Undoubtedly, this era could be called as the lady age, and the females are getting their right steadily, surly it differs from a county to other but generally speaking the equality with the men aren’t a dream like before specially in the Arabic world, but the question: do we have to interfere in the choices of the both genders regarding their education is a controversial one and I am going to discus it in this essay Firstly we have to admit that not all the humans have the same skills and intellectual capabilities and therefore not all the students should do the scientific or literature topics and rather it is not smoothing related to the sex of the scholars, furthermore the grades are the tickets to allow anyone getting into college, for instance in Lebanon if you want to apply for the medicine university you need an average in high school equal or more than 98. 5% and for the engineering 98% regardless of your origin or gender To conclude with some Arabic countries aren’t allowing their daughters or sisters to apply for specific types of education like nursing, and they consider it dishonor, surely this kind of practice has to stopped immediately and this is a special case and not a general behavior otherwise I see that the things has to be equal for both gender and both of them may study whatever they like as long as they have the required key factors for this learning
Undoubtedly
, this era could
be called
as the lady age, and the females are getting their right
steadily
, surly it differs from a county to other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
generally
speaking the equality with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
aren’t a dream like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
specially
in the Arabic world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the question: do we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interfere in the choices of the both genders regarding their education is a controversial
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
one and
I am going to discus it in this essay

Firstly
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that not all the humans have the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and intellectual capabilities and
therefore
not all the students should do the scientific or literature topics and
rather
it is not smoothing related to the sex of the scholars,
furthermore
the grades are the tickets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
getting
into college,
for instance
in Lebanon if you want to apply for the medicine university you need an average in high school equal or more than 98. 5% and for the engineering 98% regardless of your origin or gender

To conclude
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Arabic countries aren’t allowing their daughters or sisters to apply for specific types of education like nursing, and they consider it dishonor,
surely
this kind of practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
immediately and this is a special case and not a general behavior
otherwise
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be equal for both gender and both of them may study whatever they like as long as they have the required key factors for this learning
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e. g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e. g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed? v. 4

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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