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Some countries have introduced a law to limit working for employees. Why is the law introduced? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.1

Some countries have introduced a law to limit working for employees. Why is the law introduced? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1
Nowadays, employees have been pushed to endeavour harder and longer in some developing countries. Hence, several countries have enacted laws to restrict working hours. There are numerous motives why the law is needed, which I will discuss in this essay. I believe that restricting the number of hours worked is a positive development for everyone. One evident reason to present a law to limit working hours is to reduce the companies which set their labourers to work longer than normal duty hours. For instance, the employees obtain job over time to elevate their production by spending the same expenditure. However, workers are feeling immense pressure to meet targets and deadlines. Furthermore, another one of the pivotal reasons that employees are more susceptible to illness primarily it is appeared by an unhealthy lifestyle. In particular, employees who do not have sufficient time to relax or sleep, which can put them at risk of suffering sanity problems and it leads spend more money on medical treatments. There are also benefits to enforce rules which have substantial impacts on workers' performance and health. Employees are able to perform the job carefully which does not potentially hazard affecting the safety of the employees and its surroundings. An illustration, if the employees are responsible to handle hazardous chemicals, it can be deadly if they cannot dispose of it according to the steps or procedures in the guidelines. In addition, people who cut their performance hours, which will have significantly improved their health conditions. For example, they have more time to stay with their families which helped them tremendously mitigate their stress. To sum up, excessive works have detrimental effects on the workers’ physical and psychological health. Limiting work hours will bring several changes in their lifestyle that would lead them towards a better and successful life.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have
been pushed
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
harder and longer in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
Hence
, several countries have enacted laws to restrict working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. There are numerous motives why the law
is needed
, which I will discuss in this essay. I believe that restricting the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
worked is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development for everyone.

One evident reason to present a law to limit working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which set their
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
to work longer than normal duty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
obtain job over time to elevate their production by spending the same expenditure.
However
, workers are feeling immense pressure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
targets and deadlines.
Furthermore
, another one of the pivotal reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are more susceptible to illness
primarily
it
is appeared
by an unhealthy lifestyle.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who do not have sufficient time to relax or sleep, which can put them at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of suffering sanity problems and it leads spend more money on medical treatments.

There are
also
benefits to enforce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
which have substantial impacts on workers' performance and health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employees
are able to perform the job
carefully
which does not
potentially
hazard affecting the safety of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and its surroundings. An illustration, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are responsible to handle hazardous chemicals, it can be deadly if they cannot dispose of it according to the steps or procedures in the guidelines.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
their performance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, which will have
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their health conditions.
For example
, they have more time to stay with their families which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them
tremendously
mitigate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

To sum up, excessive works have detrimental effects on the workers’ physical and psychological health. Limiting work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
will bring several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their lifestyle that would lead them towards a better and successful life.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some countries have introduced a law to limit working for employees. Why is the law introduced? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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