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In some rich countries, the number of children at secondary or high school who are the science subject is declining. What effect might this have on the children's and their countries future? How can children be encouraged to study science? v.1

In some rich countries, the number of children at secondary or high school who are the science subject is declining. What effect might this have on the children's and their countries future? How can children be encouraged to study science? v. 1
Nowadays, it is observed particularly in the developed countries that there is a decline in the number of students opting for science as a subject of choice for their secondary and higher education. This phenomenon affects both the future of the children and the countries' as well. So, the causes, effects and the ways to overcome this problem are mentioned in this essay. While discussing the reasons, the most common one is, most of the students believe that science is a difficult to understand the subject. This is because the teachers are now more indulged in the aim of gaining money and not to help the students to solve their difficulties. The other reason is, the school children believe that learning science requires a lot of time and so they are unable to follow their hobbies and other activities. Such decision of school children may adversely affect the future of the nation as declining intake in pursuing science leads to a stagnant state in terms of new technology which will also decrease the amount of invention that would prevent the formation of new comfort tools. To overcome such issues, it is mandatory to maintain interest of students for which various novel methods should be included in the curriculum like applying visualisation and digitalised method for learning. More efforts are to be taken to provide practical knowledge by allowing students to perform various practical and teachers should take personal interest for making it in an easily understandable form. To conclude, measures like using digitalisation and more importance to the practical knowledge should be included in curriculum for better understanding of a subject and teacher should support students to overcome their subject related doubts and fears.
Nowadays, it
is observed
particularly
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
that there is a decline in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of choice for their secondary and higher education. This phenomenon affects both the future of the children and the countries'
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the causes, effects and the ways to overcome this problem
are mentioned
in this essay.

While discussing the reasons, the most common one is, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is a difficult to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the teachers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more indulged in the aim of gaining money and not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to solve their difficulties. The other reason is, the school children believe that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are unable to follow their hobbies and other activities.

Such decision of school children may
adversely
affect the future of the nation as declining intake in pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
leads to a stagnant state in terms of new technology which will
also
decrease the amount of invention that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the formation of new comfort tools.

To overcome such issues, it is mandatory to maintain interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for which various novel methods should
be included
in the curriculum like applying
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualisation' is British English.
visualisation
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'digitalised' is British English.
digitalised
method for learning. More efforts are to
be taken
to provide practical knowledge by allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to perform various practical and teachers should take personal interest for making it in an
easily
understandable form.

To conclude
, measures like using
Possible spelling mistake. 'digitalisation' is British English.
digitalisation
and more importance to the practical knowledge should
be included
in curriculum for better understanding of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and teacher should support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to overcome their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
related doubts and fears.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some rich countries, the number of children at secondary or high school who are the science subject is declining. What effect might this have on the children's and their countries future? How can children be encouraged to study science? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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