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Whether the design of the building will have a positive or negative impact on people's life and work? Discuss factors v.2

Whether the design of the building will have a positive or negative impact on people's life and work? Discuss factors v. 2
The place where one has to work is where he/she spends most of the productive time in the day and this pays a lot of impact in both and positive and negative sense on the mindset of people depending on the ambience of the place. If the building is providing all the facilities that are needed by a person it will double the productivity and vice-versa. The following essay will shed a light on the factors of these. Firstly, if a workspace is fulfilling all the basic needs of comfort like temperature control, comfortable sitting place, good lighting then it avoids any kind of distraction from the work inturn boosting up the mood, which will further increase the productvity. In this case, people give best of their abilities to achieve more leading to the happy state of mind. For Instance, if one is getting a good sitting space with all the requirements fulfilled, then he/she will be relaxed and can entirely focus on work. This will help him/her to fulfill the tasks with concentration which will impact the result at the end. On the contratary, if the place is dull in ambience by not providing any comfortable facilities it brings down the motivation level of the employees because most of the time one is struggling to find a right space to work. This further impacts the results, which are directly related to the mindset of the person in his/her life. For example, If in an office space one is not getting a right environment to work then results will be impacted negatively because one is not abe to give his/her 100% in the work which can further lead to development of depression and anxiety. To summarize, the design of the building plays an important role in shaping the behaviour of the person at the work space developing relaxed state of mind or anxiety depending on the ambience.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is where he/she spends most of the productive time in the day and this pays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
impact in both and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sense on the mindset of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
depending on the ambience of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. If the building is providing all the facilities that
are needed
by a person it will double the productivity and vice-versa. The following essay will shed a light on the factors of these.

Firstly
, if a workspace is fulfilling all the basic needs of comfort like temperature control, comfortable sitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lighting then it avoids any kind of distraction from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturn
boosting up the mood, which will
further
increase the
Possible spelling mistake found.
productvity
.
In this case
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
give best of their abilities to achieve more leading to the happy state of mind.
For Instance
, if one is getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
with all the requirements fulfilled, then he/she will
be relaxed
and can
entirely
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him/her to fulfill the tasks with concentration which will impact the result at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
contratary
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is dull in ambience by not providing any comfortable facilities it brings down the motivation level of the employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the time one is struggling to find a right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This
further
impacts the results, which are
directly
related to the mindset of the person in his/her life.
For example
, If in an office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
one is not getting a right environment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
then results will
be impacted
negatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
abe
to give his/her 100% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which can
further
lead to development of depression and anxiety.

To summarize
, the design of the building plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in shaping the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the person at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
developing relaxed state of mind or anxiety depending on the ambience.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Whether the design of the building will have a positive or negative impact on people's life and work? Discuss factors v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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