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Every year several languages die out every year. Some people think that it is not important because life will be easier when there are fewer languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Every year several languages die out every year. Some people think that it is not important because life will be easier when there are fewer languages. with this opinion? v. 1
Art have always proven itself to be a great escape for over occupied human. Which is why people think that government should render ample finance to the arts, but myriads believe that there are other important things where funds should be spent. This essay will elaborates the possible agreements or disagreements of this view. A country can achieve huge success by using art as a tool. As there are many people who cannot show their talent to the world as they do not have enough money to get the knack. moreover, government can provide small loans for people who are deft in their work so that they can open their own business and live a better life. In addition to that, the government can make wealth by opening museums showing dexterities of people, where no only people from other countries can visit and but it will be leisure time for over worked people as well. In contrast, one should not forget that the same money can be disbursed on getting rid of pollution, corruption, unemployment and homelessness. Authorities can use their capital to make alternatives of pollutants. Furthermore, funds can be spent on recruitment process to make it more genuine which will automatically diminish unemployment. Last but not least, government can make old age or homes for homeless people to eradicate homelessness. In conclusion, where country's growth is a vindication for acceptance of given view, there proofs like adulteration, joblessness ink the denial of this view. I think, regimes should prudently spend money on the arts as well as other country building factors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
have always proven itself to be a great escape for over occupied human. Which is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should render ample finance to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
myriads believe that there are other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things where funds should
be spent
. This essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "elaborate"
elaborates
the possible agreements or disagreements of this view.

A country can achieve huge success by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a tool. As there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their talent to the world as they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the knack.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
loans for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are deft in their work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can open their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better life.
In addition
to that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
wealth by opening museums showing
Possible spelling mistake found.
dexterities
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, where no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from other countries can visit and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will be leisure time for over worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
.

In contrast
, one should not forget that the same money can
be disbursed
on getting rid of pollution, corruption, unemployment and homelessness. Authorities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their capital to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
alternatives of pollutants.
Furthermore
, funds can
be spent
on recruitment process to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it more genuine which will
automatically
diminish unemployment. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age or homes for homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to eradicate homelessness.

In conclusion
, where country's growth is a vindication for acceptance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
view, there proofs like adulteration, joblessness ink the denial of this view. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, regimes should
prudently
spend money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as well
as other country building factors.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Every year several languages die out every year. Some people think that it is not important because life will be easier when there are fewer languages. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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