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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 102 v.43

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 102 v. 43
Young people of today graduate college with little or no work and travel experience. Hence, some nations motivate young adults who just rounded up their high school to take a break in order to work or perhaps travel before starting college. This essay will discuss the benefits and disbenefits of this decision on students who decide to follow this route. There are two main benefits of taking a year leave from school, namely experiencing a new culture and make money. Students who decide to leave school for a year so that they can travel get to get to know other people's customs, for example, learning a new language and a different way of life. In addition, they could also earn some extra cash while at it. For instance, there are programs set aside for tourists who wish to work while on vacation. Thus, travelling and working for a year before the start of university is usually an extremely great experience for students. However, these advantages is not without some drawbacks, such as losing life focus and security issues. Most times, earning money between studies can take one's eye away from the goal. It is human nature to get satisfied once a small amount of money starts rolling in, as long as it pays the bill. Moreover, travelling to a completely new country or region with no guidance might not be a wise choice to make, considering recent global insecurity insurgences. Consequently, these issues should be addressed before embarking on such trip. In conclusion, some nations advise students to take a leave prior to starting college. This essay discussed its benefits which include global experience and fending for one's self and also highlighted the pitfalls which are insecure and losing focus.
Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
graduate college with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no work and travel experience.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations motivate young adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
rounded up their high school to take a break in order to work or perhaps travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting college. This essay will discuss the benefits and
Possible spelling mistake found.
disbenefits
of this decision on students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
decide to follow this route.

There are two main benefits of taking a year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
from school,
namely
experiencing a new culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money. Students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
school for a year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's customs,
for example
, learning a new language and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way of life.
In addition
, they could
also
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra cash while at it.
For instance
, there are programs set aside for tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wish to work while on vacation.
Thus
, travelling and working for a year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of university is
usually
an
extremely
great experience for students.

However
, these advantages is not without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, such as losing life focus and security issues. Most times, earning money between studies can take one's eye away from the goal. It is human nature to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfied once a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
rolling in, as long as it pays the bill.
Moreover
, travelling to a completely new country or region with no guidance might not be a wise choice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
, considering recent global insecurity insurgences.
Consequently
, these issues should
be addressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
embarking on such trip.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations advise students to take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
prior to starting college. This essay discussed its benefits which include global experience and fending for one's self and
also
highlighted the pitfalls which are insecure and losing focus.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 102 v. 43

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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