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in some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v.38

in some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 38
In a few nations, it is becoming common for young people to take a year off to work or travel after high school and before joining the university. The main benefit of this trend is that they can gain some experience and get admission in top universities and the major drawback is that it can affect their grades in college. When students work or travel after high school they can get enrolled themselves in the best universities because of their one-year experience. In other words, some universities such as Harvard University and Princeton College prefer students with some work experience. Therefore, students can be selected in these colleges easily because they have additional a year's experience than the other students. For example, a report published by the New York Times suggested that 60% of students selected in top universities in the UK were those who have taken a gap year after high school. The major disadvantage of this approach is that they might get low scores in their academics because they can be distracted from studies. That is to say that, when students rejoin college after a long break, it can be difficult for them to concentrate on studies. As a result, it can affect their academic performance, and they may get lower grades. For instance, according to a recent survey by the Guardian 30% of students who join college after a gap year got lower scores than other students who did not take a year off. In conclusion, taking a gap year is beneficial because students can get admission to the best universities due to their experience. However, lower grades and poor academic performance is a major drawback.
In a few nations, it is becoming common for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off to work or travel after high school and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. The main benefit of this trend is that they can gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and the major drawback is that it can affect their grades in college.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
work or travel after high school they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enrolled themselves in the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their one-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
such as Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
and Princeton College prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
be selected
in these colleges
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have additional a year's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
than the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, a report published by the New York Times suggested that 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
selected in top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in the UK were those who have taken a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after high school.

The major disadvantage of this approach is that they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
low scores in their academics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
be distracted
from studies.
That is
to say that, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
rejoin college after a long break, it can be difficult for them to concentrate on studies.
As a result
, it can affect their academic performance, and they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lower grades.
For instance
, according to a recent survey by the Guardian 30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
college after a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
lower scores than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who did not take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off.

In conclusion
, taking a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission to the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
However
, lower grades and poor academic performance is a major drawback.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay in some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 38

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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