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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the adavantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v.31

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the adavantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 31
There is no doubt that the period right after the high school graduation is critical to every student. Therefore, a lot of parents permit their children to commit for a travelling or a full-time job instead of gearing towards the university study. This essay will explore both merits and demerits that have generated from this approach and highlight some pertinent examples as well. To start with the positive development, aspiring students of varsity undoubtedly learn unique insights and experience a remarkable journey if they decide either to wander around at different places or to get employed in a company. This is indeed fruitful because it may become not only worthwhile, but also beneficial in the future as a reference. To give an illustrative example, when any university committee faces an application with one year of solid work experience, it would enable the applicant to have an extra edge in the whole pool. The result of this is that this type of people can bring more fresh thoughts and ideas on the table than a traditional graduate, who have been bogged down with studies only. On the other hand, an entire year that has been spent to work or travel might feel a lot for a regular pupil, thus seeming nothing but wasted. As every academic institution is quite serious about their students, they might wonder that why the student has wasted one year right after the high school. For instance, comparing other applications with merit, an application with a gap of one year would be anomalous for any educational authority. Furthermore, these people may feel distracted for a while and take some time to catch up with the regular studies, whereas others can jump onto lectures and exams immediately. In conclusion, although travelling to a new destination or pursuing a short career in an interesting organisation is often worth pursuing to diversify the lifestyle, this study break may overshadow a person's accolade and chance in the pool of competitive students.
There is no doubt that the period right after the high school graduation is critical to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
parents permit their children to commit for a travelling or a full-time job
instead
of gearing towards the university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. This essay will explore both merits and demerits that have generated from this approach and highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pertinent examples
as well
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, aspiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of varsity
undoubtedly
learn unique insights and experience a remarkable journey if they decide either to wander around at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. This is
indeed
fruitful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may become not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
worthwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
beneficial in the future as a reference. To give an illustrative example, when any university committee faces an application with one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of solid work experience, it would enable the applicant to have an extra edge in the whole pool. The result of this is that this type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can bring more fresh thoughts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
on the table than a traditional graduate, who have
been bogged
down with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

On the other hand
, an entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
that has
been spent
to work or travel might feel a lot for a regular pupil,
thus
seeming nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
wasted. As every academic institution is quite serious about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they might wonder that why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has wasted one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
right after the high school.
For instance
, comparing other applications with merit, an application with a gap of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
would be anomalous for any educational authority.
Furthermore
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may feel distracted for a while and take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to catch up with the regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, whereas others can jump onto lectures and exams immediately.

In conclusion
, although travelling to a new destination or pursuing a short career in an interesting
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
worth pursuing to diversify the lifestyle, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
break may overshadow a person's accolade and chance in the pool of competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the adavantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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