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in some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v.3

in some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 3
Travelling or working abroad has become increasingly popular, especially for youngsters. They are advised to spend a gap year to travel or work outside their country before they begin university studies. Critics argue whether this is a correct decision or not, therefore, this essay will discuss the pros and cons of this suggestion. After finishing high school, it is no doubt that a gap year is needed to refresh the students’ minds and prepare them for college. Indeed, it is advisable to work before university to save some money. In other words, getting paid will help these undergraduates afford their further education, since it is well known that universities are highly expensive nowadays. For instance, fees per semester might reach $20, 000, which is absolutely costly. Furthermore, with regards to travelling, it is crucial to travel regularly to get the opportunity to know different cultures and gain essential experiences which will help later in life. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks to this recommendation. For example, it is argued that taking a gap year will discourage high school graduates from continuing their higher education. Surprisingly, it is scientifically proven that a vast number of students who take a year off before university end up skipping it. Additionally, it is worth noting that a year gap of might decrease the students’ educational level. This is a result of forgetting what has been learnt in high school due to not practicing. Graduating from school is a milestone in everybody’s life thus a year off before further studies is essential for the graduates’ well being and psychological state. However, it should be properly spent in order not to waste a full year as this might have adverse effects as previously discussed in this essay.
Travelling or working abroad has become
increasingly
popular,
especially
for youngsters. They
are advised
to spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to travel or work outside their country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
studies. Critics argue whether this is a correct decision or not,
therefore
, this essay will discuss the pros and cons of this suggestion.

After finishing high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it is no doubt that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is needed
to refresh the students’ minds and prepare them for college.
Indeed
, it is advisable to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money.
In other words
, getting paid will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these undergraduates afford their
further
education, since it is well known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are
highly
expensive nowadays.
For instance
, fees per semester might reach $20, 000, which is
absolutely
costly.
Furthermore
,
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
travelling, it is crucial to travel
regularly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and gain essential experiences which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
later in life.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to this recommendation.
For example
, it
is argued
that taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
will discourage high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduates from continuing their higher education.
Surprisingly
, it is
scientifically
proven that a vast number of students who take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up skipping it.
Additionally
, it is worth noting that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
of might decrease the students’ educational level. This is a result of forgetting what has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
due to not practicing.

Graduating from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a milestone in everybody’s life
thus
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
further
studies is essential for the graduates’
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
and psychological state.
However
, it should be
properly
spent in order not to waste a full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
as this might have adverse effects as previously discussed in this essay.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay in some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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