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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v.24

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 24
Recently the topic whether to have a gap year between passing your high school with flying colours and actually entering the universities has become highly disputatious. Supporters validate, that that's very beneficial; because it makes students more responsible and it allows them to gain various information from different people. However, opponents proclaim that it has a plethora of negative; as it delays students one whole year to attend their university and because it's difficult for students to work, while they are still teenagers. In this essay we are going to discuss the pros and cons of this. It has been stated that there are myriads of perks, such as allowing young people to depend on themselves and gathering different information from various characters. If you travelled alone to another country, then you will have to be totally conscious; in order not to be stolen. In addition, that you will have to deal with different personalities in different places, which will definitely improve your communication skills. For example, My friend worked between her high school and university in Spain. Although she has a very good social skills, she was unable to socialize with tough and mean people. Despite the fact that she was coerced to learn Spanish, which was the cancer to her dreams and aspirations; in order to talk to the native people there, she ended up gathering a lot of knowledge about Spain and Europe in general. Working at such a young age build up their characters and widen their knowledge. Viewing the other side of the coin, not only do some people find working after high school useless, but also time-consuming. Despite the fact that students will gain information from working in such a young age, they will delay their university studies by one year. In addition to, that is might affect the psychology of the students negatively, that all of his friends are officially working and he is still studying at the university, and it is useless as he will not work with a high salary; because he is undergraduate. For example, If he gathered the money, which he will spend to travel and instead of travelling, he opened his own business, this will be much more profitable and beneficial. Investing the money in any business will definitely be a better choice. To cap it up, some people are motivated to have a gap year after finishing high school to work or travel by their own. Despite the fact that it helps to mature their personalities and enrich their knowledge, it wastes a lot of time and cost. I think that the positives outweigh the negatives; as it is essential to relax and be more mature before attending the university.
Recently the topic whether to have a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
between passing your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with flying
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
and actually entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
has become
highly
disputatious. Supporters validate,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more responsible and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to gain various information from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, opponents proclaim that it has a plethora of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
; as it delays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
one whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to attend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it's difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to work, while they are
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. In this essay we are going to discuss the pros and cons of this.

It has
been stated
that there are myriads of perks, such as allowing young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to depend on themselves and gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
information from various characters. If you travelled alone to another country, then you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
totally
conscious; in order not to
be stolen
.
In addition
, that you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
personalities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
places, which will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, My friend worked between her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in Spain. Although she has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, she was unable to socialize with tough and mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Despite the fact that she
was coerced
to learn Spanish, which was the cancer to her dreams and aspirations; in order to talk to the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
there, she ended up gathering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
knowledge about Spain and Europe
in general
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
at such a young age build up their characters and widen their knowledge.

Viewing the other side of the coin, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
useless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
time-consuming. Despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will gain information from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in such a young age, they will delay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
studies by one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
In addition
to,
that is
might affect the psychology of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
negatively
, that all of his friends are
officially
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
he is
still
studying at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, and it is useless as he will not work with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is undergraduate.
For example
, If he gathered the money, which he will spend to travel and
instead
of travelling, he opened his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business, this will be much more profitable and beneficial. Investing the money in any business will definitely be a better choice.

To cap it up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are motivated
to have a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to work or travel by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Despite the fact that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to mature their personalities and enrich their knowledge, it wastes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and cost. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the positives outweigh the negatives; as it is essential to relax and be more mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
453 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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