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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.21

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 21
Many youngsters are urged to take a year off to work or study before they start tertiary studies. This essay will illustrate both the benefits and drawbacks of taking a gap year. There are many advantages to taking a break after high school. To begin with, a preference to take a gap year can lead to better real life experiences and career selection. For instance, in this time, young people can travel to a number of places around the world; as a result, this would allow them to experience various cultures and to explore their knowledge. Moreover, some youngsters also prefer to work during this time. This would help them to showcase their skills as well as to choose a right career path. For example, many software engineers believe that it was easy for them to choose a specific software development course after they worked in the IT industry. However, for every positive there is a negative, the flip side of taking a gap year is being a year behind academically. This means starting one's university program a year later and graduating a year later than ones peers. In addition, there might be some financial drawbacks. For example, some scholarships do not allow students to defer so the decision of taking a gap year might be at the loss of a scholarship. Thus, the disadvantages of a gap year need to be weighed up against the advantages. To sum up, this essay weighed that taking a break to travel or work in between high school and university can be beneficial for personal and professional development. On the other hand, it can delay academic progress by one year. Both the positives and negatives need to be considered before making a decision.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
youngsters
are urged
to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off to work or study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
tertiary studies. This essay will illustrate both the benefits and drawbacks of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
year.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to taking a break after high school. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a preference to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
can lead to better real life experiences and career selection.
For instance
, in this time, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can travel to a number of places around the world;
as a result
, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to experience various cultures and to explore their knowledge.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters
also
prefer to work during this time. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to showcase their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as to choose a right career path.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
software engineers believe that it was easy for them to choose a specific software development course after they worked in the IT industry.

However
, for every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, the flip side of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
behind
academically
. This means starting one's university program a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
later and graduating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
later than
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
peers.
In addition
, there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial drawbacks.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scholarships do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
students to defer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the decision of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
might be at the loss of a scholarship.
Thus
, the disadvantages of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
need to
be weighed
up against the advantages.

To sum up, this essay weighed that taking a break to travel or work in between high school and university can be beneficial for personal and professional development.
On the other hand
, it can delay academic progress by one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Both the positives and negatives need to
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a decision.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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