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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this. v.20

Youngster of few nations are highly motivated by their seniors to do a job or alternatively visit to some places before enrolled at campus. This essay will discuss the importance of work for high school students and effects of it on adults. Generally, continuing their study without year loss or starting a job is depending on their financial status but developed countries are more likely to suggest adults to take a year gap by realising the advantages of this practice. If students decide to join a work immediately after completion of high school, firstly they will get experience of work which directly help them to earn money which later be used for tution fees. Also, if they travel some areas then they build strength for universities environment. Moreover, it helps to feel more relax and bonds with nature and cultural varieties. Despite of lots of advantages, Under graduates are intended to drop their studies when engaging on a job. With more task and unnecessary pressure from boss, they might forget about their future study plan. Some of them may enjoy their job and satisfied with their salary without knowing their inner capabilities. Such thing leads to low literacy level in country. For example, Afghanistan went into decade long battle where younger citizens were attracted to military forces rather than continuing their studies. In short, students can get benefits of taking a year gap after cracking high school exams only if they utilise it on good purpose like travelling or doing job instead of forgetting their original aim after spending year on workplace. Youngster of few nations are highly motivated by their seniors to do a job or alternatively visit to some places before enrolled at campus. This essay will discuss the importance of work for high school students and effects of it on adults. Generally, continuing their study without year loss or starting a job is depending on their financial status but developed countries are more likely to suggest adults to take a year gap by realising the advantages of this practice. If students decide to join a work immediately after completion of high school, firstly they will get experience of work which directly help them to earn money which later be used for tution fees. Also, if they travel some areas then they build strength for universities environment. Moreover, it helps to feel more relax and bonds with nature and cultural varieties. Despite of lots of advantages, Under graduates are intended to drop their studies when engaging on a job. With more task and unnecessary pressure from boss, they might forget about their future study plan. Some of them may enjoy their job and satisfied with their salary without knowing their inner capabilities. Such thing leads to low literacy level in country. For example, Afghanistan went into decade long battle where younger citizens were attracted to military forces rather than continuing their studies. In short, students can get benefits of taking a year gap after cracking high school exams only if they utilise it on good purpose like travelling or doing job instead of forgetting their original aim after spending year on workplace.
Youngster of few nations are
highly
motivated by their seniors to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or
alternatively
visit to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
enrolled at campus. This essay will discuss the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and effects of it on adults.

Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continuing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
loss or starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is depending on their financial status
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are more likely to suggest adults to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
by
Possible spelling mistake. ‘realising’ is British English.
realising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of this practice. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
immediately after completion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
firstly
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to earn money which later be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
tution
fees.
Also
, if they travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas then they build strength for universities environment.
Moreover
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to feel more relax and bonds with nature and cultural varieties.

Did you mean “Despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
Despite of
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
,
This is normally spelled as one word.
Under graduates
are intended
to drop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
when engaging on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. With more task and unnecessary pressure from boss, they might forget about their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
plan.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them may enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and satisfied with their salary without knowing their inner capabilities. Such thing leads to low literacy level in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, Afghanistan went into decade long battle where younger citizens
were attracted
to military forces
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continuing
their studies.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
after cracking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
exams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they
Possible spelling mistake. ‘utilise’ is British English.
utilise
it on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
purpose like travelling or doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
instead
of forgetting their original aim after spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
on workplace. Youngster of few nations are
highly
motivated by their seniors to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or
alternatively
visit to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
enrolled at campus. This essay will discuss the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and effects of it on adults.

Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continuing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
loss or starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is depending on their financial status
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are more likely to suggest adults to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
by
Possible spelling mistake. ‘realising’ is British English.
realising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of this practice. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
immediately after completion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
firstly
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to earn money which later be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
tution
fees.
Also
, if they travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas then they build strength for universities environment.
Moreover
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to feel more relax and bonds with nature and cultural varieties.

Did you mean “Despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
Despite of
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
,
This is normally spelled as one word.
Under graduates
are intended
to drop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
when engaging on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. With more task and unnecessary pressure from boss, they might forget about their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
plan.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them may enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and satisfied with their salary without knowing their inner capabilities. Such thing leads to low literacy level in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, Afghanistan went into decade long battle where younger citizens
were attracted
to military forces
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continuing
their studies.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
after cracking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
exams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they
Possible spelling mistake. ‘utilise’ is British English.
utilise
it on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
purpose like travelling or doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
instead
of forgetting their original aim after spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
on workplace.
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Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay . In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
524 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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