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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this. v.19

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this. v. 19
In many countries, after a long years of studies, young students tend to have a year gap between finishing high school and starting a college. This essay talk about both advantages and disadvantages of a gap between the high school and a college in the following paragraphs. To commence with, the two main advantages of taking a gap between school and university are it provides refreshment and makes young people more social human beings. Firstly, After twelve long years of studies student find themselves a break and keep the student out of stress. Secondly, students can find the way to improve their communication skills, be confident and their self esteem will be in a paramount. In other words, they can cope with the life situation effectively. On the contrary, huge time break can be one of the prominent cons by encouraging students to take a gap year. Despite of the fact that it gives more refreshment, the unusual break might dull ones' mind. For instance, there is a connection between high school curriculum and university curriculum, so taking a huge time space may impact ones' studies. Finally, this makes the scholars forget whatever they learned in high school. In conclusion, taking the time gap has both pros and cons in a student life, specially the gap between high school and university studies. However, taking some space in life can make a person learn different things apart from their daily schedules.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, after a long
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "year"?
years
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and starting a college. This essay talk about both advantages and disadvantages of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and a college in the following paragraphs.

To commence with, the two main advantages of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and university are it provides refreshment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more social human beings.
Firstly
, After twelve long years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
find themselves a break and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can find the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, be confident and their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
will be in
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a paramount
.
In other words
, they can cope with the life situation
effectively
.

On the contrary
, huge time break can be one of the prominent cons by encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the fact that it gives more refreshment, the unusual break might dull ones' mind.
For instance
, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum and university curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
taking a huge time space may impact ones'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Finally
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the scholars forget whatever they learned in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school.

In conclusion
, taking the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
has both pros and cons in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
life,
specially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
However
, taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
space in life can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things apart from their daily schedules.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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