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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.15

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 15
Taking a “gap year” off between high school and university has become a popular option among many young people. This time off provides a break after many years of formal study. Some students use this time to travel around the world, others volunteer and still others begin working. The idea behind each of these activities is to do something hands-on and refreshing, which enables young people to learn more about themselves and their place in the world around them. The benefits of taking a year off are plentiful. On a personal level, students who travel away from home develop their independence and self-confidence. On a cultural level, they learn about viewpoints, traditions and perspectives different from their own. Professionally, students get a taste of diverse workplaces, which might inspire a possible career interest. Intellectually, they examine their own beliefs and ideas in relation to those of others in a new environment. All these advantages combine to make a strong case for taking the one-year break. Nevertheless, there are also dangers involved in taking such a long break. Academically, the main drawback is that students can get sidetracked from their studies. A year is a long time and students could lose the good study habits and sense of discipline they had when they were in a formal academic structure. If they begin working, they could also be deluded into thinking that they’re making a lot of money. They could lose the benefit of college or university education and the chance to earn a higher income all their lives. In conclusion, whether to take a year-long break or not is an individual decision. Each young person should consider his or her motivations carefully and decide on what’s most desirable. Time is a precious resource and people of all ages, including young people, should treat it with respect.
Taking a “gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year”
off between high school and university has become a popular option among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
off provides a break after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of formal study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to travel around the world, others volunteer and
still
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
working. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
behind each of these activities is to do something hands-on and refreshing, which enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn more about themselves and their place in the world around them.

The benefits of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off are plentiful. On a personal level,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who travel away from home develop their independence and self-confidence. On a cultural level, they learn about viewpoints, traditions and perspectives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Professionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a taste of diverse workplaces, which might inspire a possible career interest.
Intellectually
, they examine their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
beliefs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in relation to those of others in a new environment. All these advantages combine to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a strong case for taking the one-year break.

Nevertheless
, there are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
involved in taking such a long break.
Academically
, the main drawback is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sidetracked from their studies. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could lose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
study habits and sense of discipline they had when they were in a formal academic structure. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
working, they could
also
be deluded
into thinking that they’re making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money. They could lose the benefit of college or university education and the chance to earn a higher income all their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, whether to take a year-long break or not is an individual decision. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person should consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
motivations
carefully
and decide on what’s most desirable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
is a precious resource and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, should treat it with respect.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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