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In some countries, there are many social problems involving teenagers. Some people say this is because parents spend much of their time at work and not at home, do you agree or disagree? v.3

In some countries, there are many social problems involving teenagers. Some people say this is because parents spend much of their time at work and not at home, v. 3
Adolescents have been involved in several problems all across the world's societies. It is a common belief that the lack of the parents' presence is a major reason for this. Since they cannot give the attention their children deserve because most of the time they are out working. This essay is going to explain why people think this and give my opinion on it. Firstly, the figures of a mother and a father are assets in building not only the character of a teenager but also their personality. Because both represent mirrors for children where they can relate while they are growing up and experiencing novel situations. In this case, they tend to automatically remember how their parents would act on that. However, when the parents are most of the time away, their children are likely to shadow of what is closest to them. For instance, films, the internet and school friends are potential influences on their behaviour. Which mostly are damaging to them. Secondly, the absence of cherish in the adolescent's upbringing can make them rebel. Since they feel abandoned as their main resource of love, parents, are distant and busy with work. Hence, they have a tendency to not behaviour in order to call the parent's attention. For example, they usually start either skipping classes, using drugs or arriving late at home. As a result, their guardians might become worried and give them the time they need. To conclude, I totally agree that parents should spend more time at home with their children instead of working. By doing this, they could prevent many social issues caused by teenagers.
Adolescents have
been involved
in several problems all across the world's societies. It is a common belief that the lack of the parents' presence is a major reason for this. Since they cannot give the attention their
children
deserve
because
most of the
time
they are out working. This essay is going to
explain
why
people
think
this and give my opinion on it.

Firstly
, the figures of a mother and a father are assets in building not
only
the character of a
teenager
but
also
their personality.
Because
both represent mirrors for
children
where they can relate while they are growing up and experiencing novel situations.
In this case
, they tend to
automatically
remember how their
parents
would act on that.
However
, when the
parents
are most of the
time
away, their
children
are likely to shadow of what is closest to them.
For instance
, films, the internet and school friends are potential influences on their
behaviour
.
Which
mostly
are damaging to them.

Secondly
, the absence of cherish in the adolescent's upbringing can
make
them rebel. Since they feel abandoned as their main resource of
love
,
parents
, are distant and busy with work.
Hence
, they have a tendency to not
behaviour
in order to call the parent's attention.
For example
, they
usually
start
either skipping classes, using drugs or arriving late at home.
As a result
, their guardians might become worried and give them the
time
they need.

To conclude
, I
totally
agree
that
parents
should spend more
time
at home with their
children
instead
of working. By doing this, they could
prevent
many
social issues caused by
teenagers
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay In some countries, there are many social problems involving teenagers. Some people say this is because parents spend much of their time at work and not at home, v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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