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In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children T v.1

In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children T v. 1
According to an AOA survey, it shows that 83% of children between the ages of 8 and 17 use an electronic device for three or more hours each day. It is very common to see children passing the time by using electronic devices such as tablets and computers in their homes or even outside. The average age back when was a phone something big was approximately 14 but nowadays, kids have definitely jumped on the phone bandwagon, with the average age for getting a first phone has decreased to 10 years old. Some people believe that allowing kids to use electronics is better since can be very beneficial educationally and mentally. However, others are convinced that the early access of electronics would only cause serious negative effects such as addiction, isolation and developing poor social skills. Initially, allowing the kids to use electronics such as tablets has enormous advantages. It will make them skilled in technology which prepares them in this modern world where schools are starting to incorporate modern technologies in the classroom, making learning more fun and could set them up for a career in technology. Even playing games could be very beneficial for the kids since it helps in building confidence, encourages the players to meet goals, it also stimulates innovative thinking, strategic thinking, creativity, expands their imagination and it is certainly a stress reliever. Secondly, learning anything these days had become way easier than it was before. Exposing the kids to modern technology will definitely enhance their language skills because by reading eBooks or reaching for stories online they can learn so many words and even with the correct way to pronounce it if demonstrated with voice. In addition to that, parents can easily introduce flashcards to their kids or picture dictionaries to boost their vocabulary and also to train them on to look for word meanings when they come across an unfamiliar word. On the other hand, using electronic devices could have some harmful drawbacks. Unguided children spend up to 7 hours a day on their computers or tablets therefore many of them do not know how to swim or even tie their shoes. Also, if not properly administered by parents, electronics can cause serious negative effects like game addiction, lack of social skills, becoming stubborn with their parents or even having problems concentrating on their studies. Furthermore, there are sensitive contents over the internet that is not suitable or appropriate for the little kids that can be reached with a press of a button so, they have to be monitored perfectly that make sure that they’re always safe. To sum up, electronics could be seen as beneficial educationally and mentally for the kids despite that some people only believe that these tablets are harmful and dangerous to their kids. I personally believe that, electronics can be very valuable as there are tons of learning materials, but this is only achievable by personally guiding the children and with the right supervision to make sure. .
According to an AOA survey, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 83% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
between the ages of 8 and 17
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
device for three or more hours each day. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
passing the time by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices such as tablets and computers in their homes or even outside. The average age back when was a phone something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
was approximately 14
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
have definitely jumped on the phone bandwagon, with the average age for getting a
first
phone has decreased to 10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronics is better since can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial
educationally
and mentally.
However
, others
are convinced
that the early access of electronics would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cause serious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects such as addiction, isolation and developing poor social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Initially
, allowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronics such as tablets has enormous advantages. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them skilled in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which prepares them in this modern world where schools are starting to incorporate modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in the classroom, making learning more fun and could set them up for a career in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Even playing games could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
since it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in building confidence, encourages the players to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
goals, it
also
stimulates innovative thinking, strategic thinking, creativity, expands their imagination and it is
certainly
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
reliever.

Secondly
, learning anything these days had become way easier than it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Exposing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will definitely enhance their language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by reading
Possible spelling mistake found.
eBooks
or reaching for stories online they can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
words and even with the correct way to pronounce it if demonstrated with voice.
In addition
to that, parents can
easily
introduce flashcards to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
or picture dictionaries to boost their vocabulary and
also
to train them on to look for word meanings when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across an unfamiliar word.

On the other hand
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harmful drawbacks. Unguided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend up to 7 hours a day on their computers or tablets
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them do not know how to swim or even tie their shoes.
Also
, if not
properly
administered by parents, electronics can cause serious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects like game addiction, lack of social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, becoming stubborn with their parents or even having problems concentrating on their studies.
Furthermore
, there are sensitive contents over the internet
that is
not suitable or appropriate for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
that can
be reached
with a press of a button
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be monitored
perfectly
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they’re always safe.

To sum up, electronics could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as beneficial
educationally
and mentally for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
despite that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
believe that these tablets are harmful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. I
personally
believe that, electronics can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable as there are tons of learning materials,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
achievable by
personally
guiding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and with the right supervision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children T v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
500 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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