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SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT A GOOD DIET AND EXERCISE ARE NOT NECESSARY FOR A HEALTH AND LONG LIFE. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? v.4

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT A GOOD DIET AND EXERCISE ARE NOT NECESSARY FOR A HEALTH AND LONG LIFE. v. 4
It is considered by some that having a balanced diet and exercise are not important for wellness and achieving longer life. In my own perspective, I fully disagree with them as I believe that both of these are crucial. One good reason to have a balance diet is that it promotes better health. People who eat nutritious foods can prevent being sick. For instance, when they are avoiding large consumptions of fats, sugar and sodium, it can keep their body away from diseases such as hypertension and diabetes, compared to people who are not. Hence, eating nutritious food is necessary for a healthy body. Moreover, aside from diet, having a daily exercise is likewise vital in increasing the life expectancy of a human. Daily physical activity can fight obesity and keeps a good blood circulation, thereby making the cardiac healthy as well. For example, a person who has a sedentary lifestyle has a higher chance of dying early as opposed to a person who always visit a gym to exercise. As a result, the latter is expected to live longer than the former, as this activity can prevent any problems regarding well-being. Thus, it is a must that people do routine physical activity. In conclusion, some people say that both healthy eating habits and workout are not significant. However, I fully believe that if a person wants to live for longer years and be healthy, he must eat the right kind of foods and make sure to have exercised regularly.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that having a balanced diet and exercise are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for wellness and achieving longer life. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, I
fully
disagree with them as I believe that both of these are crucial.

One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to have a balance diet is that it promotes better health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
eat nutritious foods can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
being sick.
For instance
, when they are avoiding large
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
of fats, sugar and sodium, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their body away from diseases such as hypertension and diabetes, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not.
Hence
, eating nutritious food is necessary for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body.

Moreover
, aside from diet, having a daily exercise is
likewise
vital in increasing the life expectancy of a human. Daily physical activity can fight obesity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
blood circulation, thereby making the cardiac
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
as well
.
For example
, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has a sedentary lifestyle has a higher chance of dying early as opposed to a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
always visit a gym to exercise.
As a result
, the latter is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer than the former, as this activity can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any problems regarding well-being.
Thus
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do routine physical activity.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating habits and workout are not significant.
However
, I
fully
believe that if a person wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for longer years and be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
eat the right kind of foods and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure to have exercised
regularly
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT A GOOD DIET AND EXERCISE ARE NOT NECESSARY FOR A HEALTH AND LONG LIFE. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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