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In some countries the quality of life in larger cities is declining. Why do you think this is happening? What measures can be taken to stop it? v.3

In some countries the quality of life in larger cities is declining. Why do you think this is happening? What measures can be taken to stop it? v. 3
While in the past, the population of big cities and rural areas were almost equal, today extremely more people are living in cities, and it is stated that the quality of their lives is decreasing gradually. There are reasons for that, such as overpopulation and inflation. But also some actions and programs could be performed in order to handle these issues. The migration rate, from villages to mega cities, has raised substantially and makes cities crowded. This process leads to so many problems like contamination, especially air and sound pollutions, and dense traffic in almost every street. As a result, diseases like cancer are becoming more widespread and makes people unhealthier. In addition, the costs of living, including goods and services' prices, in large cities are increasing permanently. Consequently, individuals have to work more houres and there will be less free time to have fun and to spend with family. So it could be said that the modern lifestyle is not in high quality to some extent. Fortunately, there are some possible measures could be taken place to address these problems. Firstly, people should be encouraged or even forced to travel by public transportations instead of their private cars. This could happen by means of improving public facilities or imposing high taxes on personal cars. Secondly, government should introduce legislations in order ro to climb the employees' salary. In that case, they do not have to work for extra hours, and also can afford recreation' s expenditures. In conclusion, it is true that the level of urban life has diminished due to a dramatic jump in number of citizens and consequent immense problems, like unhealthy environment, and high life expenditures in larger cities. However, some measures could be executed. To motivate inhabitants to use public vehicles instead of driving cars, as well as rising workers' revenue are examples of these feasible actions.
While in the past, the population of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and rural areas were almost equal,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
extremely
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, and it
is stated
that the quality of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is decreasing
gradually
. There are reasons for that, such as overpopulation and inflation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions and programs could
be performed
in order to handle these issues.

The migration rate, from villages to mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, has raised
substantially
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
crowded. This process leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems like contamination,
especially
air and sound pollutions, and dense traffic in almost every street.
As a result
, diseases like cancer are becoming more widespread and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
unhealthier.
In addition
, the costs of living, including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
services&
#039; prices, in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are increasing
permanently
.
Consequently
, individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work more
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "hours", the plural form of the noun 'hour'?
houres
and there will be less free time to have fun and to spend with family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it could
be said
that the modern lifestyle is not in high quality to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

Fortunately
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible measures could
be taken
place to address these problems.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be encouraged
or even forced to travel by public transportations
instead
of their private cars. This could happen by means of improving public facilities or imposing high taxes on personal cars.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
in order
Possible spelling mistake found.
ro
to climb the
Possible spelling mistake found.
employees&
#039; salary.
In that case
, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work for extra hours, and
also
can afford
Possible spelling mistake found.
recreation&
#039; s expenditures.

In conclusion
, it is true that the level of urban life has diminished due to a dramatic jump in number of citizens and consequent immense problems, like unhealthy environment, and high life expenditures in larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures could
be executed
. To motivate inhabitants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public vehicles
instead
of driving cars,
as well
as rising
Possible spelling mistake found.
workers&
#039; revenue are examples of these feasible actions.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay In some countries the quality of life in larger cities is declining. Why do you think this is happening? What measures can be taken to stop it? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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